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November 19th

“A pound of pluck is worth a ton of luck.” – James A Garfield


323rd day of the year (324th in leap years) with 42 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ American Made Matters Day
~ Have a Bad Day Day
~ International Men’s Day
~ National Play Monopoly Day
~ National Carbonated Beverage With Caffeine Day
~ Rocky and Bullwinkle Day
~ Women’s Entrepreneurship Day
~ World Toilet Day
~ Equal Opportunity Day (also known as Dedication Day and Gettysburg Address Day: anniversary of the Gettysburg Address: abolish all artificial discrimination which hinders the right of each American to advance in accordance with his merits as a human being and his capacity for productive work)


  • 1831 James A. Garfield, Moreland Hills, Ohio, 20th President of the United States (increased U.S. naval power, purged corruption in Post Office)
  • 1907 Jack Schaefer, Cleveland, Ohio, author (Shane, Tales from the West, Monte Walsh)
  • 1933 Larry King, New York City, New York, TV and radio host (Larry King Live on CNN)
  • 1936 Dick Cavett, Gibbon, Nebraska, talk show host (known for conversational style and in-depth discussion of issues), blog for New York Times
  • 1938 Ted Turner, Cincinnati, Ohio, businessman (Founder of CNN, the first 24-hour cable news channel; founded WTPB, pioneered superstation concept; nicknamed Mouth of the South for controversial statements)
  • 1941 Dan Haggerty, Pound, Wisconsin, actor (Grizzly Adams, The Adventures of Frontier Fremont, Condominium, Abducted, Nightmares, A Legendary Wind)
  • 1942 Calvin Klein, Bronx, New York, clothing designer
  • 1953 Robert Beltran, Bakersfield, California, actor (Chakotay on Star Trek: Voyager; Eating Raoul, Lone Wolf McQuade, The Mystic Warrior, Night of the Comet, Magic Lantern)
  • 1954 Kathleen Quinlan, Pasadena, California, actress (American Graffiti, I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, Apollo 13, The Doors, Breakdown, The Hills Have Eyes, Breach, House, Saving My Baby)
  • 1956 Eileen Collins, Elmira, New York, test pilot and NASA astronaut (First female pilot and commander of Space Shuttle (STS-63, STS-84, STS-93, STS-114)
  • 1961 Meg Ryan, Fairfield, Connecticut, actress (When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, City of Angels, You’ve Got Mail, Kate & Leopold, Ithaca)
  • 1962 Jodie Foster, Los Angeles, California, actress (The Silence of the Lambs, Nell, Freaky Friday, Contact, Panic Room, Nim’s Island, Carnage, Hotel Artemis)
  • 1963 Terry Farrell, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, actress (Jadzia Dax on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; Becker, Star, Legion, Deep Core 2000, Code 11-14)
  • 1976 Jack Dorsey, St. Louis, Missouri, Co-Founder of Twitter
  • 1977 Kerri Strug, Tucson, Arizona, gymnast (Retired, member of the Magnificent Seven team at 1996 Olympics)

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made – M. Acklam


  • 1493 Christopher Columbus goes ashore on an island he names it San Juan Bautista (later renamed Puerto Rico).
  • 1794 The United States and the Kingdom of Great Britain sign Jay’s Treaty, meant to resolve some of the leftover problems from the American Revolutionary War.
  • 1863 President Abraham Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg Address at the dedication of the military cemetery ceremony at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.
  • 1916 Samuel Goldwyn and Edgar Selwyn establish Goldwyn Pictures.
  • 1950 US General Dwight D. Eisenhower becomes Supreme Commander of NATO-Europe.
  • 1959 Ford Motor Company announces the discontinuation of the unpopular Edsel.
  • 1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Pete Conrad and Alan Bean land at Oceanus Procellarum (the “Ocean of Storms”) and become the third and fourth humans to walk on the Moon.
  • 1985 Pennzoil wins a US$10.53 billion judgment against Texaco, in the largest civil verdict in the history of the United States, stemming from Texaco executing a contract to buy Getty Oil after Pennzoil had entered into an unsigned, yet still binding, buyout contract with Getty.
  • 1998 Lewinsky scandal: The United States House of Representatives Judiciary Committee begins impeachment hearings against U.S. President Bill Clinton.
  • 2002 The Greek oil tanker Prestige splits in half and sinks off the coast of Galicia, releasing over 20 million US gallons (76,000 m³) of oil in the largest environmental disaster in Spanish and Portuguese history.
  • 2006 Nintendo’s first video game console with motion control, the Wii, is released.


After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school.
“Well,” he said, “it’s three weeks long.”
“What else,” I asked.

“The first week they separate the men from the boys,” he said. “The second week, they separate the men from the fools.”
“And the third week?” I asked.
“The third week, the fools jump.”

A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, “Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?”
To which Jack replied, “The holes are numbered!”

My niece bought her five-year-old daughter Kayh a hamster. One day he escaped from his cage. The family turned the house upside-down and finally found him. Several weeks later, while Kay was at school, he disappeared again. My niece searched frantically but never found the critter. Hoping to make the loss less painful for Kay, my niece took the cage out of her room.
When Kay came home from school that afternoon, she climbed into her mother’s lap. “We have a serious problem,” she announced. “Not only is my hamster gone again, but this time he took his cage!”

ONE-LINERS: Misnomers: a word or term that suggests a meaning that is known to be wrong. These examples of ‘Misnomers’ were reported in The Guardian newspaper in February 2006.

1) Arabic numerals originated in India.
2) Tin cans and tin foil are constructed from aluminum, not tin.
3) Madison Square Garden, USA is not square (nor is it a garden).

4) Danish pastries were invented in Austria.
5) Dry cleaning uses a fluid called naphtha.
6) Pencil lead – pencils use graphite and not lead.

7) The Koala bear is a marsupial and not a bear.
8) Panama hats originate from Ecuador, not Panama.
9) The word Asteroid means ‘star-like’ and they are small planets.
10) The Peanut is a legume, [i.e. fruit/vegetable] not a nut.

The priest was instructing a class of third-graders at All Saints grammar school.”There were two brothers, and one of them chose the wicked path of Satan.
The brother was evil and corrupt and did great damage to many people, and wound up a convicted criminal in a tiny, dark cell. “But the other brother studied hard and became a great, rich, knowledgeable lawyer.

“Now, children, what is the difference between these two brothers, who started out in the same place, who together embarked upon life’s stormy seas?”
Herman raised his hand and said, “Easy. One of them got caught.”

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.

I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?”

Mom smiled and then replied, “OH YES! I do remember.”

PIC OF THE DAY: Cat on Icy Pond
cat on ice

Years ago famed Chicago Bears coach George Halas was screaming at a referee from outside the designated coaching area when the ref slapped George with a 5 yard penalty.

Halas threw down his hat and yelled at the referee, “You imbecile, it’s a fifteen yard penalty, not a five yarder for coaching outside the box!”
To which the referee supposedly replied, “I know, but the way you coach George, it’ll only be five.”

A Marine Corps drill instructor had just chewed out a new recruit. At the end of his rant, he said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.”
The kid said, “Not me, sir. I promised myself that when I got out of the Marines, I’d never stand in another line.”


It was Dr. McGillicuddy’s regular habit to stop off at Harry’s Bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home from work. The bartender would always have the drink waiting for him at precisely 5:18 PM.

One afternoon as the end of the work day neared the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.

The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink, then exclaimed: “This isn’t a hazelnut

To which the bartender replied, “That’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.”


1) How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
2) Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?  Because he was a commontater.
3) Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?  He desperately wanted a scoop.

4) What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?  Anything, just butter him up.
5) What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It’s mashing!

Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain.

I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted.
To her delight, we rode it twice.

The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain.
As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride’s speed.
“Dad,” she said, “I don’t think I want to go.”

I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time.
She replied, “This year I can read.”

A six-year-old comes crying to his mother because his little sister pulled his hair. “Don’t be angry,” the mother says, “Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.”

A short while later, there’s more crying, and the mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says, “Now she knows.”

Housecleaning (or maybe not…)

~ I don’t do windows because … I love birds and don’t want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.
~ I don’t wax floors because … I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves, I’ll feel terrible and they may sue me.

~ I don’t mind the dust bunnies because .. They are very good company, I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.
~ I don’t disturb cobwebs because … I want every creature to have a home of their own.
~ I don’t Spring Clean because .. I love all the seasons and don’t want the others to get jealous.

~ I don’t pull weeds in the garden because … I don’t want to get in God’s way, he is an excellent designer.
~ I don’t put things away because .. My husband will never be able to find them again.
~ I don’t do gourmet meals when I entertain because … I don’t want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

~ I don’t iron because … I choose to believe them when they say “Permanent Press”.
~ I don’t stress much on anything because … “A Type” personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol’ woman!!!!

An older man, not in the best physical condition, goes to the local gym.

Once dressed in his exercise clothes, he approaches a trainer in the gym. “I want to impress a beautiful young girl. Which machine should I use?”

The trainer took one look at him and with a smile replied, “Use the ATM machine outside!”

TODAY IN TRIVIA: About Caffeine . . .

~ The full chemical name for caffeine is 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine and its chemical formula is C8H10N4O2
~ Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant found in coffee, tea, cola, guarana, mate, and other products.

~ Caffeine is an alkaloid occurring naturally in some 60 plant species, of which cocoa beans, kola nuts, tea leaves and coffee beans are the most well-known. Other natural sources of caffeine include yerba maté, guarana berries, guayusa, and the yaupon holly.

~ In 1819, the German chemist Friedlieb Ferdinand Runge isolated relatively pure caffeine for the first time; he called it “Kaffebase”.
~ Caffeine is the most widely consumed psychoactive drug in the world. Ninety percent of Americans consume it in some form every day. In fact, over 450,000,000 cups of coffee are consumed in the USA every day!

~ Caffeine is one of the most commonly used stimulants among athletes. Taking caffeine, within limits, is allowed by the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA). Urine concentrations over 15 mcg/mL are prohibited. It takes most people about 8 cups of coffee providing 100 mg/cup to reach this urine concentration.

~ Contrary to popular belief, caffeine (or coffee) won’t help someone sober up if they have had too much to drink.
~ Voltaire, the French philosopher, reportedly drank up to fifty cups of coffee a day.
QUIP OF THE DAY: The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts the moment you get up and doesn’t stop until you get into the office.


Thought for the day. . . I believe that life is given us so we may grow in love, and I believe that God is in me as the sun is in the color and fragrance of a flower – the Light in my darkness, the Voice in my silence. – Helen Adams Keller

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