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November 1st

There is no failure except in no longer trying. – Elbert Hubbard


TODAY – NOVEMBER 1st

305th day of the year (306th in leap years) with 60 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ All Saint’s Day
~ Extra Mile Day
~ Give Up Your “Shoulds” Day
~ National Author’s Day
~ National Calzone Day
~ National Deep Fried Clams Day
~ National Family Literacy Day
~ National Go Cook For Your Pets Day
~ National Vinegar Day
~ Prime Meridian Day
~ World Vegan Day
~ National Men Make Dinner Day (observed annually on first Thursday in November)
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REMEMBER! DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME ENDS SUNDAY
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1871 Stephen Crane, Newark, New Jersey, author (Red Badge of Courage; Maggie: A Girl of the Streets)
  • 1920 James J Kilpatrick, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, columnist (60 Minutes)
  • 1923 Gordon R. Dickson, Canadian sci-fi author (3 Hugo Awards; Childe Cycle, Dragon Knight Series)
  • 1937 Bill Anderson, Columbia, South Carolina, country music singer-songwriter (member of the weekly Grand Ole Opry radio program and stage performance in Nashville, Tennessee, since 1961)
  • 1949 Michael D. Griffin, Aberdeen, Maryland, physicist, aerospace engineer (former NASA chief administrator)
  • 1950 Robert B. Laughlin, Visalia, California, physicist (fractional Quantum Hall effect)
  • 1953 Jan Davis, Cocoa Beach, Florida (grew up in Huntsville, AL), engineer and retired astronaut (STS-47, STS-60, STS-85)
  • 1957 Lyle Lovett, Klein, Texas, country singer / actor (Cowboy Man, Desert Rose Band, Give Back My Heart, The Bridge)
  • 1976 Logan Marshall-Green, Charleston, South Carolina, actor (24, The O.C. Traveler, Dark Blue, Prometheus, The Invitation, Quarry)
  • 1986 Penn Badgley, Baltimore, Maryland, actor (Do Over, The Mountain, The Bedford Diaries, Gossip Girl, John Tucker Must Die, The Stepfather, Easy A, The Paper Store)

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I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. – Confucius
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1520 Strait of Magellan, passage below South America connecting Pacific and Atlantic, first navigated by Ferdinand Magellan.
  • 1611 Shakespeare’s romantic comedy “The Tempest” first presented.
  • 1765 The British Parliament enacts the Stamp Act on the 13 colonies in order to help pay for British military operations in North America.
  • 1800 John Adams becomes the first President of the United States to live in the Executive Mansion (later renamed the White House).
  • 1848 First medical school for women, The Boston Female Medical School (which later merged with the Boston University School of Medicine), opened in Boston, Massachusetts.
  • 1870 In the United States, the Weather Bureau (later renamed the National Weather Service) makes its first official meteorological forecast.
  • 1938 Seabiscuit defeats War Admiral in an upset victory during a match race deemed “the match of the century” in horse racing.
  • 1941 American photographer Ansel Adams takes a picture of a moonrise over the town of Hernandez, New Mexico that would become one of the most famous images in the history of photography.
  • 1951 First atomic explosion witnessed by troops in Desert Rock, Nevada. Participation was not voluntary.
  • 1952 U.S. successfully detonates the first large hydrogen bomb, code-named “Mike” [“M” for megaton], in the Eniwetok atoll, located in the Marshall Islands in the central Pacific Ocean. The explosion had a yield of 10 megatons.
  • 1982 Honda becomes the first Asian automobile company to produce cars in the United States with the opening of their factory in Marysville, Ohio. The Honda Accord is the first car produced there.

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Two lions escaped from a zoo near Washington, D.C., and took off in separate directions. Weeks later they ran into each other in the middle of the night.

“I’m having a terrible time getting food,” the first lion said. “How have you been getting along?”
“Just fine,” the second lion said. “I found a good hiding place in the Pentagon. I eat one general a week. It’ll be years before they notice that anyone is missing.”
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Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard.

With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

Reply from dad…

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad

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ONE-LINERS: Things To Do When Your ISP Is Down

1. Dial 911 immediately.

2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past 2 years.

3. You mean there’s something else to do?

4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote.

5. Work.

6. Re-introduce yourself to your immediate family.

7. Get that kidney transplant you’ve been putting off.
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There was a postman who used to deliver mail to a house were a little girl every day shouted out “Hi Bill!” and waved to him. Though his name wasn’t Bill he always waved anyway.

A couple of weeks later he ran into the girl’s mother and he asked her why every time her little girl saw him she shouted out, “Hi Bill!”

Her mother started blushing and said, “Because whenever I see you coming I say here comes the bills!”
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I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if we wanted to get of the aircraft, we would reboard in 30 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. I noticed him as I walked by and could tell he had flown before because his seeing eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. I could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him and, calling him by name, said, “Keith, we’re in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?”

Keith replied, “No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs.”

Picture this ….. all the people in the gate area came to a complete stand still when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with the Seeing eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.

People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, they also were trying to change airlines!

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The husband showed his wife and article about a study which concluded that men use about 10,000 words per day while women use 20,000 words per day.

“See?” He said. “Women talk twice as much as men.”

“No. Women use twice as many words as men because we have to repeat everything we say.”

“What?”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.

~ Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.

~ What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.

~ What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It’s mashing!

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An older couple is lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, “Don’t touch me.”
“Why not?” he asks.

She answers back, “Because I’m dead.”
The husband says, “What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together and talking to one another.”

She says, “No, I’m definitely dead.”
He insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”
“Because I woke up this morning and nothing hurts.”
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BIRTHDAZE
~ He looks like a million bucks…after taxes
~ She’s discovered the secret of perpetual youth…she lies about her age.
~ She’s been pressing 30 so long, it’s pleated.
~ When it comes to telling her age, she’s shy……..about 10 years shy.
~ She wouldn’t try so hard to conceal her age if her husband would act his.
~ I’ve stopped exercising…pushing 50 is enough exercise for me.
He’s so old….
..he knew the Big Dipper when it was just a drinking cup.
..he knew Baskin Robbins when he only had 2 flavors
..he just got a prospectus from an old-age home marked “Urgent”
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A group of tourists were touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real moaner, always complaining. The bus seats were uncomfortable or the food was terrible; it was either too hot, or it’s too cold; the accommodations was awful.

The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone in County Cork.

‘Good luck will be following you all your days, if you kiss the Blarney Stone,’ the guide said. ‘Unfortunately, it’s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow.’

‘We can’t be here tomorrow,’ the nasty curmudgeonly woman shouted. ‘We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can’t kiss the stupid stone.’

‘Well now,’ the guide said patiently, ‘it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you’ll have the same good fortune.’

‘And I suppose you’ve kissed the stone?’ the woman scoffed rudely.

‘No, ma’am,’ the frustrated guide said, ‘but I have sat on it.’
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After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers.
“I’m busy,” he said, “I’ll do the next one.”

The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, “Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA:  How many #1 country hits did Bill Anderson have? He has reached No. 1 on the country charts seven times: “Mama Sang a Song” (1962), “Still” (1963), “I Get the Fever” (1966), “For Loving You” (with Jan Howard, 1967), “My Life (Throw It Away If I Want To)” (1969), “World of Make Believe” (1973), and “Sometimes” (with Mary Lou Turner, 1976). Twenty-nine more of his singles have reached the top ten.

~ Which toy was the first advertised on television? The first toy product ever advertised on television was Mr. Potato Head. Introduced in 1952, Mr. Potato Head took advantage of TV’s explosive growth to gain access to tens of millions of newly “plugged-in” households.

~ Which is the most popular bagpipe today? Bagpipes today are widely spread across the Western and Middle Eastern worlds and through much of the former British Empire. However, the name bagpipe has almost become synonymous with its best-known form, the Great Highland Bagpipe, overshadowing the great number and variety of traditional forms of bagpipe. Despite the decline of these other types of pipes over the last few centuries, in recent years many of these pipes have seen a resurgence or even revival as traditional musicians have sought them out; for example, the Irish piping tradition, which by the mid 20th century had declined to a handful of master players is today alive, well, and flourishing.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have; and I think he’s a dirty little beast – W. S. Gilbert

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . “It is not the length of life, but the depth.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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