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November 20th

Whenever you see a successful person you only see the public glories, never the private sacrifices to reach them. – Vaibhav Shah


324th day of the year (325th in leap years) with 41 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Beautiful Day
~ Globally Organized Hug A Runner Day (aka G.O.H.A.R.D.)
~ Name Your PC Day
~ National Absurdity Day
~ National Peanut Butter Fudge Day
~ World Children’s Day


  • 1889 Edwin Hubble, Marshfield, Missouri, astronomer (helped establish extragalactic astronomy, one of the most important observational cosmologists of 20th century)
  • 1892 James Collip, Belleville, Ontario,  biochemist (co-discoverer of insulin)
  • 1900 Chester Gould, Pawnee, Oklahoma, comic strip artist  (Dick Tracy)
  • 1908 Alistair Cooke, British-born journalist (host of PBS Masterpiece Theater 1971-1992; Letter from America)
  • 1932 Richard Dawson, English-American actor and game show host (Hogan’s Heroes, McCloud, Match Game, Family Feud)
  • 1939 Dick Smothers, New York City, New York, comedian (half of the musical comedy team the Smothers Brothers)
  • 1942 Bob Einstein, Los Angeles, California, actor and comedian (Super Dave Osborne, Curb Your Enthusiasm)
  • 1943 Veronica Hamel, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  actress (Beyond the Poseidon Adventure, When Time Ran Out, Hill Street Blues, Lost)
  • 1948 Richard Masur, New York City, New York, actor (Heaven’s Gate, Fallen Angel, The Thing, Rent-A-Cop, Encino Man, Lonely Boys)
  • 1956 Bo Derek, Long Beach, California, actress (10, Orca, Bolero, Tommy Boy, Fashion House, Sharknado 3 & Last Sharknado, 5 Weddings )
  • 1959 Sean Young, Louisville, Kentucky, actress (Blade Runner, Dune, No Way Out, The Young and the Restless, Escape Room)
  • 1970 Sabrina Lloyd, Fairfax, Virginia,  actress (Sliders, Sports Night, Madigan Men, Ed, Numb3rs)
  • 1979 Jacob Pitts, Weston, Connecticut, actor (EuroTrip, The Pacific, Justified, Sneaky Pete)
  • 1985 Dan Byrd, Marietta, Georgia, actor (Any Day Now, Clubhouse, The Hills Have Eyes, Aliens in America, Cougar Town, Doomsday)
  • 1989 Cody Linley, Lewisville, Texas, actor (Hannah Montana, Dancing with the Stars 7 w/ Julianne Hough, Champion, Hoovey, Sharknado 4 & 5)

Time is the coin of life. Only you can determine how it will be spent. – Carl Sandburg


  • 1789 New Jersey becomes the first U.S. state to ratify the Bill of Rights.
  • 1820 An 80-ton sperm whale attacks the Essex (a whaling ship from Nantucket, Massachusetts) 2,000 miles from the western coast of South America (Herman Melville’s 1851 novel Moby-Dick is in part inspired by this story).
  • 1974 The United States Department of Justice files its final anti-trust suit against AT&T Corporation. This suit later leads to the breakup of AT&T and its Bell System.
  • 1985 Microsoft Windows 1.0 is released.
  • 1993 Savings and loan crisis: The United States Senate Ethics Committee issues a stern censure of California senator Alan Cranston for his “dealings” with savings-and-loan executive Charles Keating.
  • 1998 A court in Taliban-controlled Afghanistan declares accused terrorist Osama bin Laden “a man without a sin” in regard to the 1998 U.S. embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania.
  • 1998 The first module of the International Space Station, Zarya, is launched.
  • 2001 In Washington, D.C., U.S. President George W. Bush dedicates the United States Department of Justice headquarters building as the Robert F. Kennedy Justice Building, honoring the late Robert F. Kennedy on what would have been his 76th birthday.
  • 2017 The Georgia Dome, former home of the Atlanta Falcons, is demolished.


It had been snowing for several hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing.”
A few minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the twelve hundred students who went to move twenty-six cars please return to class.”

The Sunday morning service had ended, and the pastor was greeting parishioners as they were leaving. Everyone was friendly as they greeted him, but no one said anything about the sermon.
The pastor was getting a little concerned about that until someone said, “Oh, pastor, your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God.”

A little puzzled, the pastor asked him to explain what he meant.
The parishioner explained. “Well, pastor, that sermon reminded me of the peace of God because it passed all understanding. And it reminded me of the love of God because it endured forever.”

ONE-LINERS: (Words That Aren’t In the Dictionary But Ought To Be):

~ Abracadabbler: an amateur magician.
~ Carbage: the trash found in your automobile.
~ Faddict: someone who has to try every new trend that comes along.

~ Iceburg: an uppity, snobbish neighborhood.
~ Hackchoo: when you sneeze and cough at the same time.
~ Jobsolete: a position within a company that no longer exists.

~ Mandals: sandals for men.
~ Sanktuary: a graveyard for ships.
~ Qcumbersome: a salad that contains too many cucumbers.
~ Nagivator: someone who constantly assists with driving directions in an overly critical manner.

~ Xerocks: two identical pieces of stone.
~ Testimoney: fees paid to expert witnesses.
~ Unbrella: an umbrella that the wind has turned inside-out.
~ Yawnese: the language of someone trying to speak while yawning.

One of my co-workers had an exasperating phone conversation with one of her teenage sons. After hanging up, she heaved a sigh and said out loud, “No one ever listens to me.”
Immediately, several voices from surrounding cubicles called out, “Yes, we do!”

Child at dinner table: “Are caterpillars good to eat?”
Parent: “No. Why would you ask a question like that?”
Child: “Well, there was one in your salad, but it’s gone now.”

pic of the day: A Gray Day

wintery looking day

The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when primitive tribesmen beat out a rhythm on drums to communicate:

This “Fire Help.” Me Groog.
Me Lorto. Help. Fire not work.

You have flint and stone?

You hit them together?

What happen?
Fire not work.

(sigh) Make spark?
No spark, no fire, me confused. Fire work yesterday.

*sigh* You change rock?
I change nothing.

You sure?
Me make one change. Stone hot so me soak in stream so stone not burn Lorto hand. Small change, shouldn’t keep Lorto from make fire.
*Grabs club and goes to Lorto’s cave*

About a week ago, I saw an Internet column about eliminating paperwork clutter.
Great idea!

So I printed out the instructions and put them on top of the rest of the stuff on my desk.
Now I can’t find them.


Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does “varicose” mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section”
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word “benign” mean?’
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight

A woman was driving her old beat up car on the Highway with her 7 yr. old son, Little Johnny.
She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. After getting caught in a large group of car’s flying down the road she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit.

Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind. She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.
As he did he said, “Ma’am do you know why I pulled you over?”
Little Johnny piped up from the back seat, “I do! Because you couldn’t catch the other cars!”

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, “When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don’t love me anymore.”
“Nonsense, darling,” replied the husband, “you just cook better now.”

I called a friend and asked what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on “aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum, and steel under a constrained environment.”

I was impressed…
Upon further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife’s supervision.

Three guys are trying to sneak into the Olympic Village in Atlanta to scoop souvenirs and autographs. The first says, “Let’s watch the registration table to see if there’s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.”

Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states, “Angus MacPherson. Scotland. Shotput.” He opens his gym bag to display a shotput to the registration attendant.
The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. MacPherson. Here is your packet of registration materials, complete with hotel keys, passes to all Olympic events, meal tickets, and other information.”

HOT DOG! The first guy grabs a small tree sapling, strips off the limbs and roots, walks up the registration table and states: “Chuck Wagon. Canada. Javelin.”
The attendant says, “Very good, Mr. Wagon. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and so forth. Good luck!”

The second guy grabs a street utility manhole cover, walks up the registration table, and states: “Dusty Rhodes. Australia. Discus.”
The attendant says, “Terrific, Mr. Rhodes. Here is your packet of registration materials, hotel keys, a full set of passes, and meal tickets. Enjoy yourself.”

They scamper in, but suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan – OH NO. He’s a goofball from the hills. They forgot to make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and blow their cover stories.
They spot him walking with a roll of barbed wire under his arm. He walks up the registration table and states: “Foster Bean. U.S. Fencing.”

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Was there a real Earl Grey and what makes his tea so special? Originally “Earl Grey Tea” was made with unsteamed China black tea, but is now usually made with Indian and Sri Lankan (Ceylon) black tea. Many sources state that Charles Grey, 2nd Earl (also Baron Grey and Viscount Howick) was given the recipe by a Chinese mandarin with whom he was friends (and/or whose life either he or another British diplomat saved). The Bergamot Orange is the flavoring used in Earl Grey Tea.

~ What were Joel’s last words? On his deathbed, author Joel Chandler Harris (1856-1931), creator of the “Uncle Remus” stories, was asked whether he was feeling better. His last words were, “I am about the extent of a tenth of a gnat’s eyebrow better.”

~ Who trained Flipper? Ricou Browning, a former lifeguard who earned limited fame after playing the monster in 1954’s horror film Creature From the Black Lagoon, personally trained TV’s first Flipper, a female dolphin named Mitzi. Browning is the one responsible for developing the show’s premise, and got his inspiration from his own kids’ favorite TV show at the time, Lassie.

QUIP OF THE DAY: Thank the Lord for Facebook & Instagram. Otherwise I’d have to call 674 people every day to tell them I just went to the gym.


Thought for the day. . . If you don’t value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents–start charging for it. – Kim Garst

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