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November 25th

Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is? – Frank Scully


TODAY – NOVEMBER 25th

329th day of the year (330th in leap years) with 36 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Blase’ Day
~ National Parfait Day
~ National Play Day With Dad
~ Shopping Reminder Day
~ Evacuation Day ((New York), the anniversary of departure of British army on November 25, 1783)
~ International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1844 Karl Benz, Muhlburg (Karlsruhe), German engineer and inventor (gasoline-powered automobile and pioneering founder of the automobile manufacturer (Mercedes-Benz))
  • 1846 Carrie Nation, Garrard County, Kentucky, activist (radical member of temperance movement)
  • 1909 P.D. Eastman, Amherst, Massachusetts,children’s author and screenwriter (Big Dog…Little Dog: A Bedtime Story, Sam and Gus Light Up the Night )
  • 1914 Joe DiMaggio, Martinez, California, baseball player (New York Yankees center fielder, 56-game hitting streak)
  • 1920 Ricardo Montalbán, Mexican-American actor (Fantasy Island, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, How the West Was Won)
  • 1926 Poul Anderson, Bristol, Pennsylvania, author (Series include: Hoka, Psychotechnic League, Tomorrow’s Chldren, Dominic Flandry,  Nicholas van Rijn, Time Patrol)
  • 1940 Joe Gibbs, Mocksville, North Carolina, football coach (Washington Redskins) and NASCAR team owner
  • 1944 Ben Stein, Washington, D.C., author (How to Ruin the United States of America) and actor (The Wonder Years, Win Ben Stein’s Money)
  • 1946 Marc Brown, Erie, Pennsylvania, author (Arthur book series for children)
  • 1947 John Larroquette, New Orleans, Louisiana, actor (Night Court, McBride, West Wing, Boston Legal)
  • 1951 Charlaine Harris, Tunica, Mississippi, author (The Sookie Stackhouse series)
  • 1952 Crescent Dragonwagon, New York City, NY, author of 7 cookbooks (The Cornbread Gospels), 20 children’s books (Your Owl Friend, Brass Button, Bat in the Dining Room)  and 2 novels
  • 1960 Amy Grant, Augusta, Georgia, singer (Queen of Christian Pop )
  • 1960 John F. Kennedy, Jr., Washington, D.C., journalist, publisher, and lawyer, co-founded George Magazine)
  • 1966 Billy Burke, Bellingham, Washington, actor (Twilight 1,2,3 )
  • 1973 Eddie Steeples, Spring, Texas, actor (Darnell on My Name is Earl)

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Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself – and thus make yourself indispensable. – Andre Gide
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1783 The last British troops leave New York City three months after the signing of the Treaty of Paris to end the American Revolutionary War.
  • 1863 At Missionary Ridge in Tennessee during the Civil War, Union forces led by General Ulysses S. Grant break the Siege of Chattanooga by routing Confederate troops under General Braxton Bragg.
  • 1867 Alfred Nobel patents dynamite.
  • 1874 The United States Greenback Party is established as a political party consisting primarily of farmers.
  • 1876 In retaliation for the American defeat at the Battle of the Little Bighorn, United States Army troops sack Chief Dull Knife’s sleeping Cheyenne village at the headwaters of the Powder River.
  • 1926 Deadly tornado outbreak on Thanksgiving day with 27 strong twisters reported in the Midwest, including the strongest November tornado, an estimated F4, that devastates Heber Springs, Arkansas.  51 deaths in Arkansas alone, 76 deaths and over 400 injuries in all.
  • 1950 The “Storm of the Century”, a violent snowstorm, paralyzes the northeastern United States and the Appalachians, bringing winds up to 100 mph and sub-zero temperatures. Pickens, West Virginia, records 57 inches of snow. 323 people die as a result of the storm.
  • 1963 President John F. Kennedy is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.
    1996 An ice storm strikes the central U.S. killing 26 people. A powerful windstorm affects Florida and winds gust over 90 mph, toppling trees and flipping trailers.
  • 1999  The United Nations establishes the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women to commemorate the murder of three Mirabal Sisters for resistance against the Rafael Trujillo dictatorship in Dominican Republic.

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A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.

First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house, and they give their professional opinions of their observations.

The Physicist: “The initial measurement wasn’t accurate.”
The Biologist’s conclusion: “They have reproduced.”
The Mathematician: “If now exactly 1 person enters the house, it will be empty again.”
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During the Middle Ages, the Abbot of Septimo, a very fat and corpulent man, on his way to Florence one evening, inquired of a peasant he met, “Do you think I shall be able to enter the gate?”

Of course, he thus meant to ask whether he was likely to reach the city before the closing of the gates.
But the country-man, reacting to his stoutness, replied, “To be sure, you will; a cartload of hay gets through, why should not you?”
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ONE-LINERS: 22 Lines To Make You Smile

~ I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
~ Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
~ My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

~ I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
~ Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
~ You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

~ Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
~ Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
~ I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.

~ The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
~ God must love stupid people; He made so many.
~ NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

~ Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
~ Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
~ Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!

~ Procrastinate Now!
~ I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
~ Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

~ A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
~ Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
~ The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
~ The original point and click tool was a Smith and Wesson.
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Without realizing it, years ago I walked right into a police stakeout at my local Blockbuster.
When a young man stepped out the door, a group of officers pounced, cuffing him and hustling him into a squad car.

Seeing my astonished frozen expression, one cop came over and said, “When they say the movie is due by noon the next day… they mean it!”
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Four priests in New York went golfing wearing typical “golfer” outfits. After a while, their caddy asked, “You guys wouldn’t be priests by any chance?”

“Actually, yes, we are,” one cleric replied. “How did you know?”
Easy,” said the caddy. “I’ve never seen such bad golf and such clean language.”
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pic of the day: Rolls of Cotton

Rolls of cotton
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A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She’d made her family’s favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they’d eaten half of it at dinner.

The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed.

Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out.
She smiled. “He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!”
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A man was driving down the highway late one night when his minivan broke down. He turned on his flashers and tried to get someone’s attention to help him. Eventually a Lamborghini Countach pulls up.

“Any chance I could get a lift into town?” said the minivan driver.

“I can do better than that,” the man driving the Countach replied. “I’ve got a V-12 under this hood, I can tow you to the nearest town, no problem. Just honk your horn and flash your lights if I start going too fast.”

They head off down the road and eventually come to a stop light and up pulls a Ferrari F40 with a V-10. The F40 began to rev its engine to get the Countach to race. The Countach revs its engine and the light turns green. They fly out of there, and about a half a mile down the road they pass a speed trap.

The officer there watches them pass and radios to base saying, “Base, you will not believe what I just saw. A F40 and a Countach were driving down the road doing about 120 with a minivan honking its horn and flashing its lights trying to pass them!”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q: What happens when you forget to pay an exorcist?
A: You get re-possessed.

Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: What does a weight-conscious vampire drink?
A: Blood Light.

Q: Why did the vampire’s lunch give him heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.
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My boss attended an “Enlightened Management” course. He learned that humor on the job relieves tension during times of stress, such as downsizing.
He must have learned his lesson well because one day he came up to me and said, “Knock, knock.”

I, of course, replied, “Who’s there?”
“Not you anymore.”
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Bumper stickers in the Star Wars Universe
~ Yoda School of Sentence Structure Graduate, I Am!
~ Baby Ewok on Board
~ Jedi Academy Honor Student on Board
~ Don’t Like the Way I Drive? Call 1-800-FLY-CASUAL
~ My Other Car is an Incom T-16
~ Member of Stormtroopers Local 1138
~ Mon Mothma for Emperor!
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“Ma and Pa, I’m thinkin’ ’bout gettin’ married t’ Betty Sue.”
“Bubba, yuh cain’t get married yet. Yer the baby of the family.”

“But Ma, I just had my 28th birthday last week.”
“I know that, Bubba, but your Pa and me think you should put off gettin’ married ’til after yuh gradjate high school.”
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“No thanks,” said the first guy. “I’ll just have a cup of black coffee.”
“I’ll have black coffee too,” said the second. “And please make sure the cup is clean.”
The waitress shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off into the kitchen.

Two minutes later, she was back. “Two cups of black coffee,” she announced.
“Which one of you wanted the clean cup?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Which television program was the one mobsters disliked? The Untouchables, which debuted in 1959 and starred Robert Stack, was the most violent television show of its time. It became the target of more protests from viewers than any other regular TV series. To this day, it is the only TV program ever boycotted by mobsters over unfair treatment.

~ What does it mean to be blasé? The word is defined as referring to someone who is apathetic to pleasure or excitement as a result of excessive indulgence or enjoyment. They are considered world-weary. Or they are unconcerned about something, not caring if they win or lose for example.

~ Which countries have participated in every Olympics? Since 1896, the beginning of the modern Olympics, only Greece and Australia have participated in every Games.

~ How long is the day in Reykjavik? In the city of Reykjavik, Iceland, one can see the stars eighteen hours a day during the heart of the winter. During the summer, sunlight is visible 24 hours a day.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria! – Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes)

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. – Will Rogers

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