We have probed the earth, excavated it, burned it, ripped things from it, buried things in it, chopped down its forests, leveled its hills, muddied its waters, and dirtied its air. That does not fit my definition of a good tenant. If we were here on a month-to-month basis, we would have been evicted long ago. – Rose Bird, Chief Justice of California Supreme Court (2 Nov 1936-1999)
TODAY – NOVEMBER 26th
330th day of the year (331st in leap years) with 35 days to follow.
Holidays for Today:
~ Good Grief Day
~ National Cake Day
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1876 Willis Carrier, Angola, New York, engineer and inventor (invented modern air conditioning)
- 1922 Charles M. Schulz, Minneapolis, Minnesota, cartoonist (created Peanuts)
- 1933 Robert Goulet, Lawrence, Massachusetts, singer and actor (Lancelot in the 1960 Broadway musical Camelot, and numerous appearances in Las Vegas)
- 1938 Rich Little, Canadian-American comedian, actor, and singer (“The Man of a Thousand Voices”)
- 1939 Tina Turner, American-Swiss (born in Nutbush, Tennessee), singer-songwriter (Proud Mary, What’s Love Got To Do With It), dancer, and actress (Mad Max)
- 1944 Jean Terrell, Belzoni, Mississippi, singer (The Supremes)
- 1956 Dale Jarrett, Conover, North Carolina, race car driver (won Daytona 500 3 times) and sportscaster (ESPN)
- 1971 Vicki Pettersson, Las Vegas, Nevada author (Signs of the Zodiac urban fantasy series; Celestial Blues trilogy)
- 1973 Peter Facinelli, Queens, New York City, actor (Fastlane, Twilight, Can’t Hardly Wait), director, and producer
- 1980 Jason Griffith, Lakeline, Ohio, voice actor (Sonic the Hedgehog)
- 1983 Chris Hughes, Hickory, North Carolina, businessman (co-founder of Facebook)
- 1986 Trevor Morgan, Chicago, Illinois, actor (Genius, The Sixth Sense, The Patriot, A Rumor of Angels, Jurassic Park III, The Glass House, Faith Under Fire)
The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. ― Mark Twain
- 1778 Captain James Cook becomes the first European to visit Maui of the Hawaiian Islands.
- 1789 A national Thanksgiving Day is observed in the United States as recommended by President George Washington and approved by Congress.
- 1863 President Abraham Lincoln proclaims November 26 as a national Thanksgiving Day, to be celebrated annually on the final Thursday of November (since 1941, on the fourth Thursday).
- 1917 The National Hockey League is formed, with the Montreal Canadiens, Montreal Wanderers, Ottawa Senators, Quebec Bulldogs, and Toronto Arenas as its first teams.
- 1922 Howard Carter and Lord Carnarvon become the first people to enter the tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamun in over 3000 years.
- 1922 Toll of the Sea debuts as the first general release film to use two-tone Technicolor (The Gulf Between is the first film to do so but it is not widely distributed).
- 1942 The movie Casablanca, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, premiered in New York City.
- 1976 Sex Pistols debut single, “Anarchy in the U.K.“, is released, beginning the punk rock genre.
- 1990 The Delta II rocket makes its maiden flight.
- 1998 Tony Blair becomes the first Prime Minister of the United Kingdom to address the Republic of Ireland’s parliament.
- 2003 Concorde makes its final flight, over Bristol, England.
- 2011 The Mars Science Laboratory launches to Mars with the Curiosity Rover.
- 2018 The robotic probe Insight lands on Elysium Planitia, Mars.
Somewhat skeptical of his son’s new found determination, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, to admire a set of weights.
“Please, Dad,I promise I’ll use ’em every day.”
“I don’t know. It’s a big commitment on your part.”
“They’re not cheap either.”
“I’ll use ’em Dad, I promise. You’ll see.”
Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door.
From the corner of the store he heard his son yelp, “What!?! You mean I have to carry them to the car?”
A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, “Do you believe in the Devil?”
“No,” said Little Johnny. “It’s the same as Santa Claus. I know it’s my daddy.”
An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
“Yes, Dad, what is it?”
“Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn’t go well – if something happens to me – your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.”
ONE-LINERS: About Dogs…
1) The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue – Anonymous
2) Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful – Ann Landers
3) If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went – Will Rogers
4) There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face – Ben Williams
5) A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself – Josh Billings
6) The average dog is a nicer person than the average person – Andy Rooney
7) We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made – M. Acklam
8) Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate – Sigmund Freud
9) I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult – Rita Rudner ♪A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down – Robert Benchley
10) Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog – Franklin P. Jones
11) If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons – James Thurber
12) If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise – Anonymous
A high school kid saw an ad for a farmer who was selling a donkey. The farmer wanted $200, but the kid only had $100, so he gave that to the farmer, and spent the summer mowing yards and doing odd jobs to earn the other $100.
But when the kid came back to pay the balance, the farmer told him, “I’ve got some bad news for ya. That donkey died last week.”
The kid thought about this a moment and said, “Well, I’ll go ahead and buy him anyway.”
“What?? Whatcha gonna do with a dead donkey?”
“I think I’m gonna raffle him off.”
“You can’t raffle off no dead donkey!”
“I got it worked out, don’t worry.”
So the kid bought the dead donkey and a couple of weeks later the farmer ran into the kid in town.
“Hey, did you really raffle off that dead donkey?”
“Yep, sure did. I sold fifty tickets for ten bucks each.”
“WHAT? Wasn’t anyone upset about that??”
The guy that won was kinda mad. So I gave him back his ten bucks.”
That kid grew up to be Bernie Madoff.
A Lady goes to Toys R Us to buy a Barbie doll. She tells the clerk that she needs to buy a Barbie but doesn’t know what’s available or price.
The clerk replies, “We have Tennis Barbie and she’s $28.”
The Lady asks, “Well, anything else?”
“We have an equestrian Barbie, and she’s $28”.
Lady once again asks, “Anything else?”
“Well, we have divorced Barbie and she’s $250.”
The lady says, “I don’t understand why divorced Barbie is so expensive. The others were only $28. What is so special about divorced Barbie?”
The clerk replied, “Simple, she comes with Ken’s car, his house, and all his other stuff.”
THANKSGIVING WEATHER FORECAST
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.
A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.
Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.
SIGNS YOU OVERDID IT THIS THANKSGIVING
~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your email.
~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the recliner.
~ You get grass stains on your behind after a walk, but never sat down.
~ You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.
~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.
~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
~ Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this.
WARNING! PUN ZONE: OLDIE-BUT-GOODIE BIBLE GROANERS
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. What’s the phone number of the Garden of Eden?
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man said, “They’re not going to let dogs into the bar.”
The first guy said, “No? Watch this.”
So he put on some dark glasses, acted like the German Shepherd was a seeing-eye dog, walked into the bar, and ordered a drink. And no one said anything. So the second guy took out some dark glasses, slipped them on, and walked his Chihuahua into the bar.
The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t allow dogs in here.”
And the man said, “It’s okay. It’s my seeing-eye dog.”
The bartender laughed and said, “This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?”
And the guy said, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”
The Difference Between Men & Women…
A woman will meet another woman with common interests, do a few things together, and say something like, “I hope we can be good friends.”
A man will meet another man with common interests, do a few things together, and say nothing. After years of interacting with this other man, sharing hopes and fears that he wouldn’t confide in his minister or psychiatrist, he’ll finally let down his guard in a fit of drunken sentimentality and say something like, “You know, for someone who’s such a jerk, I guess you’re OK.”
On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple’s 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it.
“It all felt like five minutes…” the gentleman said slowly.
The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head:
Politics Explained as Cows
~ SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
~ COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
~ FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
~ BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
~ CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
~ CORPORATE: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows, then act surprised when it drops dead.
~ DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay the taxes to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
TODAY IN TRIVIA: Why is today “Good Grief Day”? Charles Schulz was born on this day in 1922, and today is dedicated to both him and his enduring comic strip. “Good grief!” is a phrase often used by Charlie Brown, the main character from Schulz’s comic strip, Peanuts. Peanuts ran almost fifty years—from October 2, 1950, until February 13, 2000, which was one day after Schulz’s death. Schulz created all aspects of the comic, from the script to the art and lettering. Today, reprints of Schulz’s comic appear in many U.S. newspapers.
~ Where did cake get its name? The word “cake” comes from the Old Norse word, “kaka,” meaning a baked flour confection.
~ How is a cake related to good luck? Celtic people celebrate a festival called Beltane. During this festival, they lit bonfires atop a hill and will roll down round cakes from the hill. If the cake doesn’t break, they believe it will bring good fortune.
~ What kind of cake lets your dream about your future spouse? In England, people believed that keeping fruitcakes under the pillow of those who are unmarried will give them sweet dreams about their fiancée. It was in the 17th century when that news became a bomb.
QUIP OF THE DAY: The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public – George Jessel.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . .
The problem, often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation. – Neil deGrasse Tyson