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November 29th

A life that hasn’t a definite plan is likely to become driftwood. – David Sarnoff


TODAY – NOVEMBER 29th

333rd day of the year (334th in leap years) with 32 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Electronic Greetings Day
~ International Day of Solidarity With The Palestinian People
~ National Lemon Creme Pie Day
~ Square Dance Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1803 Christian Doppler, Austrian physicist (described what is now called the Doppler effect, which is the apparent change in frequency and wavelength of a wave as perceived by an observer moving relative to the wave’s source)
  • 1832 Louisa May Alcott, Germantown, Pennsylvania, author (Little Women, Little Men, Eight Cousins)
  • 1898 C. S. Lewis, Irish author (Chronicles of Narnia, Space Trilogy, Mere Christianity, Surprised by Joy, The Screwtape Letters)
  • 1943 Sue Miller, Chicago, Illinois, author (The Good Mother, Inventing the Abbotts, While I Was Gone, Lost in the Forest)
  • 1950 Kevin O’Donnell, Jr., Cleveland, Ohio, author (Caverns, Reefs, War of Omission, ORA:CLE, The Shelter)
  • 1952 Jeff Fahey, Olean, New York, actor (Wyatt Earp, Lost, Hatfields and McCoys: Bad Blood, Justified, Texas Rising, Alita: Battle Angel)
  • 1960 Cathy Moriarty, Bronx, New York, actress (Crazy in Alabama, The Bounty Hunter, Lady and the Tramp II: Scamp’s Adventure )
  • 1961 Kim Delaney, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania,  actress (NYPD Blue, All My Children, Philly, Army Wives, To Appomattox, God Bless the Broken Road)
  • 1978 Lauren German, Huntington Beach, California, actress (A Walk to Remember, Born Killers, Happy Town, Hawaii Five-O, Chicago Fire, Lucifer)

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Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on? – Peter McWilliams, Life 101
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1777 San Jose, California, is founded as el Pueblo de San José de Guadalupe. It is the first civilian settlement, or pueblo, in Alta California.
  • 1910 The first US patent for inventing the traffic lights system is issued to Ernest E. Sirrine.
  • 1929 U.S. Admiral Richard Byrd becomes the first person to fly over the South Pole.
  • 1934 The Chicago Bears defeat the Detroit Lions 19-16 in the first nationally broadcast game.
  • 1963 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson establishes the Warren Commission to investigate the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
  • 1972 Nolan Bushnell (co-founder of Atari) releases Pong (the first commercially successful video game) in Andy Capp’s Tavern in Sunnyvale, California.
  • 1983 The United Nations General Assembly passes United Nations Resolution 37/37, stating that Soviet Union forces should withdraw from Afghanistan.
  • 1990 During the Gulf War, the United Nations Security Council passed two resolutions to restore international peace and security if Iraq did not withdraw its forces from Kuwait and free all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991.

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The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line.

When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, “You’re terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I’ll see to it that you get a huge bonus.”

“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said, “All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?”
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My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.

“I have to ask you to move your car,” my husband told him.

“Oh, sure. Is it in someone’s way?”

“No,” he replied, “it’s parked at the wrong address.”
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ONE-LINERS: More New Old Sayings

– Don’t byte off more than you can view.
– Fax is stranger than fiction.
– What boots up must come down.

– Windows will never cease.
– In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
– Virtual reality is its own reward.

– Modulation in all things.
– A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
– There’s no place like ( http://www.)home(.com)

– Know what to expect before you connect.
– Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice.
– Speed thrills.

– Give a man (or for that matter anyone) a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use The Net and he won’t bother you for weeks.
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An astronomer is on an expedition to Darkest Africa to observe a total eclipse of the sun, which will only be observable there, when he’s captured by cannibals. The eclipse is due the next day around noon. To gain his freedom he plans to pose as a god and threaten to extinguish the sun if he’s not released, but the timing has to be just right. So, in the few words of the cannibals’ primitive tongue that he knows, he asks his guard what time they plan to kill him.

The guard answers, “Tradition has it that captives are to be killed when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky on the day after their capture so that they may be cooked and ready to be served for the evening meal”.

“Great”, the astronomer replies.

The guard continues, “But because everyone’s so excited about it, in your case we’re going to wait until after the eclipse.”
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Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.

“Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.”
“Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.”

“What was the jingle?” asked the first.
“Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
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pic of the day: Looking for more sunflower seeds…

squirrel looking in window
Cheeky squirrel!
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

~ What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie.

~ Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

~ Show me where Stalin’s buried and I’ll show you a communist plot.

~ When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.

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Patricia began her job in a secondary school as a counselor and she was keen to help the pupils.

One day during break-time she noticed a girl standing all by herself on one side of the playing field while the rest of the children were enjoying a game of football [soccer] at the other end of the field.

Patricia approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said that she was.

Some time later, however, Patricia noticed that the girl was in exactly the same spot, still by herself. Going up to her again, ‘Trish inquired, ‘Would you like me to be your friend?’

The girl hesitated, then said, ‘Alright,’ while looking at Patricia with some suspicion.’

Feeling she was making progress, Pat then asked, ‘Why are you standing here all alone?’

‘Because,’ the girl said with a large sigh, ‘I’m the goalie!’
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A Brooklyn lawyer named Ernie successfully defends a major crime lord from charges of dealing drugs, racketeering, murder, kidnapping, and selling arms. As he is leaving the courtroom, an indignant old woman grabs him by the arm and says, “Young man, where are your scruples? Isn’t there anyone too low for you to defend?”

“I don’t know,” Ernie replies, “What have you done?”
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Football is a dangerous sport and players can be hurt while playing. That happened to a friend of mine in a college game who was hit pretty hard on one play.

The doctor came onto the field while we all stood around him, waiting to learn how badly he was hurt. In order to do that the doctor asked my friend a few questions as he lay on the field.

“What’s three plus three?” the doctor asked him.

“Seven,” my friend said.

“What’s the capital of the United States?”

“Alabama.”

“Which state is farther east, California or Florida?”

“California.”

At this point, the doctor thought that my friend was confused and probably had suffered a brain concussion so he told the coach to take him out of the game.

But I quickly spoke up. “Don’t do that, Doc. Let him play. He’s alright. He didn’t know that stuff even before he was hit.”
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Boy: Mom, some kid at school called me a sissy today.
Mom: So what did you do?
Boy: I hit him with my purse.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Are mules always infertile?
Not always — Several female mules have produced offspring when mated to a purebred horse or ass. Since 1527 there have been more than 60 documented cases of foals born to female mules around the world. Mules and hinnies have 63 chromosomes that are a mixture of one from each parent. The different structure and number usually prevents the chromosomes from pairing up properly and creating successful embryos.

~ Was there really a Mr. Murphy, him of the infamous law? It states “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong,” and was named after Major Edward A. Murphy, Jr., a development engineer working for a brief time on rocket sled experiments done by the United States Air Force in 1949.

~ How does one become an Eagle Scout? Requirements include earning a number of merit badges and demonstration of Scout Spirit, service and leadership. Eagle Scouts are presented with a medal and badge that visibly recognizes the accomplishments of the Scout. Additional recognition can be earned through Eagle Palms, awarded for completing additional tenure, leadership and merit badge requirements.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. – Carl Jung

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