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November 5th

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

TODAY – NOVEMBER 5th

309th day of the year (310th in leap years) with 56 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Bank Transfer Day
~ National Doughnut Day (one of 2 each year)
~ National Love Your Red Hair Day
~ National Model Railroad Month
~ National Adoption Awareness Month
~ Child Safety and Protection Month
~ National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
~ National Native American Heritage Month
~ Gunpowder Day / Guy Fawkes Day  (UK, New Zealand, and Canadian provinces of Newfoundland and Labrador)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1857 Ida Tarbell, Erie County, Pennsylvania, author & investigative journalist (The History of the Standard Oil Company)
  • 1863 James Packard, Warren, Ohio, engineer & inventor (Founded Packard Automobile Co.)
  • 1893 Raymond Loewy, French-born inventor & design engineer (“Father of Streamlining”, industrial design)
  • 1911 Roy Rogers, Cincinnati, Ohio, singer (Cool Water, Tumbling Tumbleweeds) & cowboy actor (Roy Rogers Show, made almost 100 movies)
  • 1913 John McGiver, NYC, New York, actor (Breakfast at Tiffany’s, The Manchurian Candidate, Midnight Cowboy)
  • 1913 Vivien Leigh, British actress (A Streetcar Named Desire, Gone with the Wind)
  • 1941 Art Garfunkel, NYC, New York, singer / actor (Simon & Garfunkel / Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, Bad Timing)
  • 1949 Armin Shimerman, Lakewood, New Jersey, actor (Quark in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; Buffy the Vampire Slayer, BioShock, Atlas Shrugged, Regular Show)
  • 1961 Alan G. Poindexter, Pasadena, California, naval officer & NASA astronaut (STS-122, STS-131)
  • 1963 Tatum O’Neal, Los Angeles, California, actress (Nickelodeon, Little Darlings, Rescue Me)
  • 1968 Sam Rockwell, Daly City, California, actor (The Green Mile, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Moon, Iron Man 2, Poltergeist, Fosse/Verdon)
  • 1971 Corin Nemec, Little Rock, Arkansas, actor (Parker Lewis Can’t Lose, The Stand, Drop Zone, Stargate SG-1, Star-ving, Sand Sharks, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda, Drone Wars)

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All we have is all we need. All we need is the awareness of how blessed we really are. – Sarah Ban Breathnach
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1605 The arrest of Guy Fawkes, found during a search of the Palace of Westminster, foils Robert Catesby’s plot to destroy the House of Lords and all within it.
  • 1831 Nat Turner, American slave leader, is tried, convicted, and sentenced to death in Virginia.
  • 1852 American Society of Civil Engineers and Architects founded.
  • 1872 In defiance of the law, suffragist Susan B. Anthony votes for the first time, and is later fined $100.
  • 1895 The first U.S. patent for an automobile is granted to George B. Selden.
  • 1916 The Everett Massacre takes place in Everett, Washington as political differences lead to a shoot-out between the Industrial Workers of the World organizers and local police.
  • 1925 The first “super-spy” of the 20th century, secret agent Sidney Reilly, is executed by secret police of the Soviet Union (the OGPU).
  • 1963 Archaeologists found Viking ruins in Newfoundland which predated Columbus by 500 years.
  • 1983 Byford Dolphin diving bell accident kills five and leaves one severely injured.
  • 1986 USS Rentz, USS Reeves and USS Oldendorf visit Qingdao (Tsing Tao) China – the first US Naval visit to China since 1949.
  • 2009 US Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan kills 13 and wounds 29 at Fort Hood, Texas in the deadliest mass shooting at a US military installation.
  • 2017 Devin Patrick Kelley kills 26 and injured 20 in a church in Sutherland Springs, Texas.

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One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid – the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
“Don’t worry.” said the Auctioneer, “He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?”
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The editor of a small country newspaper, furious over several government bills that had recently been passed, printed a scathing editorial with an enormous headline:

“HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS.”

Many local politicians were outraged and exerted tremendous pressure on him to print a retraction. He finally gave in to the pressure and ran his apology with the headline:

“HALF THE LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS.”
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ONE-LINERS: Facts of Life. . .

~ Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.
~ There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
~ Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.

~ Character is what you are. Reputation is what people think you are.
~ Drive carefully It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.
~ Don’t worry about the world ending today… It’s already tomorrow in Australia. (unless you’re in Australia — then start worrying)

~ Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
~ A man usually feels better after a few winks, especially if she winks back.
~ A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work..

~ The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
~ There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
~ If at first you don’t succeed … well, so much for sky diving.
~ A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn’t understand two things: 1 — Women, 2 – Fractions
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A guy walks into a dentist’s office and flops right down on the couch.
“Doc,” he says, “here’s the problem. I think I’m a moth.”

“Well,” says the doctor, “that certainly is a problem, but why did you come into a dentist’s office?”
“The light was on.”
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A young teen had just gotten his driver’s permit and inquired of his father, a pastor, if they could discuss the use of the car.
His father took him into his study and said to the teen, “I’ll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible more, get your hair cut, and we’ll talk about the car.”

Well, the teen thought about it for a moment and decided he would settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about 6 weeks, the boy came back and again asked his father about using the car.

Again, they went to the study, where his father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You brought your grades up, and I’ve observed that you’ve been studying your Bible more, and participating a lot more in the Bible study class on Sunday morning. But, I’m real disappointed, since you haven’t gotten your hair cut.”
The young man paused a moment, and then said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “You’re right son. Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ I got a gold filling and put my money where my mouth is.
~ If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
~ I used to do rock climbing as a youth, but I was much boulder back then.

~ Optometrists live long because they dilate.
~ I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.
~ An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

~ What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re so pointless.
~ There was a fight in the candy store. Two suckers got licked.
~ Old colanders never die, they just can’t take the strain anymore.

~ My wife tells me I’m a skeptic – but I don’t believe a word she says.
~ Nudist camp: A place where men and women air their differences, bare with each other, live life in the raw, greet each dawn as a nude day, and are all together in the altogether. To join, just leave your name and a dress.
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Mike and his mother were in the doctor’s office for his pre-school physical. The receptionist, completing his medical history, asked, “What is your birthdate?”
“February 25,” Mike answered.

“What year?” the receptionist asked.
“Every year,” was Mike’s matter-of-fact reply.
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A minister was called to a small town in northern Minnesota. It was notoriously known among the clergy that no one ever lasted more than one year there. Our minister was in need of a respite, and accepted the call, taking with him all the books he’d been too busy to read in previous ministries. He did his stint for a year, enjoyed a leisurely ministry, but at the end of that year, he packed up his belongings, ready to move on. In the midst of his packing, the pulpit committee came to see him.
“Preacher,” they said, “we want you to stay.” He was struck dumb, just started unpacking his stuff, nodding.
The next day on his way to the post office he ran into one of the committee members and said, “I couldn’t even speak yesterday when you boys came to see me. I was stunned! This town never keeps a minister longer than one year. Why now?”
The committeeman smiled and shook his hand. “Well, what this town really wants is no minister at all – and you’ve come closest!”
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Follow your dream! Unless it’s the one where you’re at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
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Back in the 80s when we still had land lines, I became concerned about the amount of time my teenage daughter
spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted — I’d given up on that long before — but because nobody else could use the phone.

As a happy solution, I had a telephone installed for her with her own private number. Two or three days after
her telephone had been installed, I came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the
living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her
dresser.

“Why are you using our telephone? Why aren’t you talking on your own phone?”

“I can’t, Dad. I’m expecting an important call on my phone.”
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During a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a bunker-like structure where aircraft were kept. When a pilot about to do a pre-flight check approached without his identification in plain view, Jim asked him for it.

“I don’t see why I have to show you my ID,” the pilot snapped. “After all, it is my plane.”

“Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane,” replied Jim, “but it’s sitting in my garage!”
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TODAY’S TRIVIA: What is Bank Transfer Day? This “holiday” was started to encourage bank customers to transfer their cash out of big banks to credit unions. The event is in response to what critics regard as excessive fees that big banks charge.

~ Who received the first gold record? The first person ever awarded a gold record was Glenn Miller for “Chattanooga Choo-Choo.”

~ Which cave has a grand ballroom? West Virginia’s largest and most beautiful caverns, Seneca Caverns, are located in the Appalachian Mountain range. Seneca Caverns were discovered in 1760, and tours began in 1930. The Seneca tribe used the caverns in the 1600s and 1700s for ceremonies and as refuge from winter storms and enemy tribes. Spectacular natural formations and huge chambers provide majestic views for visitors and photographers. A major feature of the cave is the breathtaking Grand Ballroom, measuring 60 feet by 30 feet, and 70 feet high. It can hold several hundred people, and features an extraordinary natural balcony on its back wall.

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QUIP OF THE DAY:Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? – Mark Twain

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. – C.S. Lewis

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