The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. – Zig Ziglar
TODAY – NOVEMBER 6th
310th day of the year (311th in leap years) with 55 days to follow.
Holidays for Today:
~ National Nachos Day
~ National Saxophone Day
~ Marooned without a Compass Day
~ International Day for Preventing the Exploitation of the Environment in War and Armed Conflict
~ Real Jewelry Month
~ National Epilepsy Awareness Month
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1814 Adolphe Sax, Belgium, inventor (saxophone)
- 1851 Charles Dow, Sterling, Connecticut, journalist and economist (co-founded Dow Jones & Company and The Wall Street Journal)
- 1854 John Philip Sousa, Washington, D.C., composer (“The March King”, military & patriotic marches)
- 1861 James Naismith, Canadian inventor of basketball
- 1916 Ray Conniff, Attleboro, Massachusetts, composer and conductor (Ray Conniff Singers)
- 1926 Zig Ziglar, Coffee County, Alabama, businessman, motivational speaker and author (Confessions of a Happy Christian, Secrets of Closing the Sale, Success for Dummies, Confessions of a Grieving Christian, Autobiography)
- 1946 Sally Field, Pasadena, California, actress (Gidget, The Flying Nun, Sybil, Steel Magnolias, Forrest Gump, Places in the Heart, Brothers and Sisters, Lincoln)
- 1948 Glenn Frey, Detroit, Michigan, singer (Eagles)
- 1957 Lori Singer, Corpus Christi, Texas, actress (Fame, Footloose, The Man with One Red Shoe, Warlock, Short Cuts, VR.5)
- 1968 Kelly Rutherford, Elizabethtown, Kentucky, actress (Homefront, Melrose Place, Scream 3, Threat Matrix, E-Ring, Gossip Girl)
- 1986 Katie Leclerc, San Antonio, Texas, actress (Away Team, Switched at Birth, Cloudy with a Chance of Love, The Reckoning)
- 1988 Emma Stone, Scottsdale, Arizona, actress (The House Bunny, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Spider-Man film series, The Croods)
Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. – Zig Ziglar
- 1789 Pope Pius VI appoints Father John Carroll as the first Catholic bishop in the United States.
- 1856 Scenes of Clerical Life, the first work of fiction by the author later known as George Eliot, is submitted for publication.
- 1860 Defeating three other candidates, Abraham Lincoln, the former Illinois congressman won the U.S. presidency.
- 1934 Memphis, Tennessee becomes the first major city to join the Tennessee Valley Authority.
- 1935 Parker Brothers acquires the forerunner patents for MONOPOLY from Elizabeth Magie.
- 1947 Meet the Press makes its television debut (the show went to a weekly schedule on September 12, 1948).
- 1971 The United States Atomic Energy Commission tests the largest U.S. underground hydrogen bomb, code-named Cannikin, on Amchitka Island in the Aleutians.
- 1975 Green March begins: 300,000 unarmed Moroccans converge on the southern city of Tarfaya and wait for a signal from King Hassan II of Morocco to cross into Western Sahara.
- 1977 The Kelly Barnes Dam, located above Toccoa Falls Bible College near Toccoa, Georgia, fails, killing 39.
- 2005 The Evansville Tornado of November 2005 kills 25 in Northwestern Kentucky and Southwestern Indiana.
I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help callers with their home problems. One woman called up hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement.
“Leave a trail of bread crumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard,” suggested the show’s host. “That’ll get rid of it.”
An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. “Now I have TWO skunks in my basement!”
An old Irish man is lying in bed, very ill. His son is sitting at his bedside, expecting the end to come at any moment. The old man looks up at the boy and says, “Son, it’s time for you to get me a Protestant minister.”
The son is astounded. “But, Dad!” he protests, “You’ve been a good Catholic all you life! You’re delirious. It’s a priest ye be wanting now, not a minister.”
The old man looks up at him and says, “Son, please. It’s me last request. Get a minister for me!”
“But, Dad,” cries the son, “Ye raised me a good Catholic. You’ve been a good Catholic all your life. Ye don’t want a minister at a time like this!”
The old man manages to croak out the words, “Son, if you respect me and love me as a father, you’ll go out and get me a Protestant minister right now.”
The son relents and goes out and gets the minister. They come back to the house, and the minister goes upstairs and converts him. As the minister is leaving the house, he passes Father O’Malley coming quickly through the door. The minister stares solemnly into the eyes of the priest. “I’m afraid you’re too late, Father,” he says. “He’s a Protestant now.”
Father O’Malley rushes up the steps and bursts into the old man’s room. “Pat! Pat! Why did ye do it?” he cries. “You were such a good Catholic! We went to St. Mary’s together! You were there when I performed my first mass! Why in the world would ye do such a thing like this?”
“Well,” the old man says as he looks up at his dear friend. “I figured if somebody had to go, it was better one of *them* than one of *us*.”
ONE-LINERS: Addendums to Murphy’s Law: Everyone knows Murphy’s Law: “Anything that can go wrong, will…” – Here are some other Laws you may not have heard!
~ Beach’s Law: Interchangeable parts aren’t.
~ Lowery’s Law of Home Repair: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
~ Lorenz’s Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
~ Lane’s Law of Supply and Demand: The one item you need is always in short supply.
~ Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
~ William’s Law: There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
~ Norman Einstein’s Law: If it’s stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid.
~ Col. Murphy’s Law of Combat: Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!
~ Cannon’s Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
Shortly after arriving at my assignment to the staff of the chief of naval-aviation technical training at the Memphis Naval Air Station, I was shown around by one of my co-workers. In the library were dozens of manuals labeled with the kinds of acronyms the military is so fond of, such as NAVSANDA (Navy supplies and accounts) and NAVWEPS (Navy weapons systems).
At the end of one row, I noticed a vaguely familiar manual called NAVSEARS. I opened it up, and it turned out to be the latest copy of the Sears-Roebuck catalog.
The more I study
The more I know
The more I know
The more I forget
The more I forget
The less I know
So why study?
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
~ A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: “Keep off the Grass.”
~ Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.”
~ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
~ The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large.
~ A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, “No change yet.”
~ A backward poet writes in-verse.
~ The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
~ In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
~ When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
~ An attorney specializing in personal injury decided to branch out, so he added libel claims to his practice.
He wanted to add insult to injury.
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of guns who want off, get the heck off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of guns who are getting on, get your behinds in the train, ’cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room, and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.”
She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are annoyed about the TWO-HOUR delay, please see the witch in the kitchen.”
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos, and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern.
Trying to be diplomatic, Mom said, “Dear, he just doesn’t seem like the all-American boy you’ve dated before. He’s not really that nice.”
“Oh come on, Mom,” replied the daughter. “If he wasn’t that nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
A senior citizen was clearing out his attic when he came upon an old painting and a violin. Thinking they might be valuable, he took them to the auction house to be valued.
After studying them, the appraiser said, “Mr Cooper, I have good news and I have bad news.”
“What’s the good news?” the senior asked.
“The good news is that you have a Stradivarius and a Picasso,” replied the appraiser.
“Fantastic! What’s the bad news?”
“Well sir, the bad news is that Stradivarius was a very bad painter and Picasso was no good with violins.”
TODAY’S TRIVIA: How long have we had weather satellites? On February 17, 1959, Vanguard II was the first satellite to send weather information back to Earth.
~ How prolific are flies? Assuming that all the offspring survived, 190,000,000,000,000,000,000 flies could be produced in four months by the offspring of a single pair of flies.
~ Where are most olives grown? From 70 to 80 percent of all ripe olives are grown in California’s approximately 35,000 acres. In the 1700’s, Franciscan monks brought olives to Mexico and then into California by way of the missions. The first cuttings were planted in 1769 at the San Diego Mission. Commercial cultivation of California olives began in the late 1800s. Today, anywhere from 80,000 to 160,000 tons of olives are produced in California each year.
~ It’s raining money from heaven… Where did Gorky’s silver coins come from? In 1940, silver coins fell from the skies on to the town of Gorky, Russia. A tornado had lifted up an old money chest and dropped the coins it contained as the wind carried it long.
QUIP OF THE DAY: Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. – Zig Ziglar
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win. – Zig Ziglar