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November 8th

It’s a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. – Roberto Benigni (Newsweek)


TODAY – NOVEMBER 8th

312th day of the year (313th in leap years) with 53 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Abet and Aid Punsters Day (make dreadful puns and encourage others to do the same)
~ Dunce Day
~ X-ray Day
~ National Cappuccino Day
~ National Harvey Wallbanger Day
~ National Parents As Teachers Day
~ Cook Something Bold and Pungent Day
~ World Urbanism Day
~ World Radiography Day
~ National Aboriginal Veterans Day (Canada)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1656 Edmond Halley, England, astronomer and mathematician (computed the orbit of the eponymous Halley’s comet)
  • 1836 Milton Bradley, Vienna, Maine, lithographer and game manufacturer
  • 1847 Bram Stoker, Dublin, Ireland, author (Dracula)
  • 1900 Margaret Mitchell, Atlanta, Georgia, author (Gone with the Wind)
  • 1922 Christiaan Barnard, Cape Province, Union of South Africa, surgeon (performed the world’s first human heart transplant operation)
  • 1923 Jack Kilby, Jefferson City, Missouri, electrical engineer (invented the integrated circuit)
  • 1927 Patti Page, Claremont, Oklahoma, singer (Tennessee Waltz)
  • 1929 Bobby Bowden, Birmingham, Alabama, retired college football coach (NCAA record for most career wins and bowl wins by a Division / FBS coach – coached Florida State Seminoles from 1976-2009)
  • 1932 Ben Bova, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, author & editor (The Astral Mirror, Battle Station, Exiled from Earth, Sam Gunn, Voyagers / 6 Hugo Awards for editor of Analog Science Fiction)
  • 1936 Edward G Gibson, Buffalo, New York, scientist, former astronaut (Skylab 4)
  • 1947 Margaret Rhea Seddon, Murfreesboro, Tennessee, physician /former astronaut (STS 51D, STS 40, STS-58)
  • 1948 Dale A Gardner, Fairmont, Minnesota, former USN/astronaut (STS 8, STS 51A)
  • 1949 Bonnie Raitt, Burbank, California, singer/guitarist (Green Light, The Glow, Thing Called Love)
  • 1966 Gordon Ramsay, Scotland, chef and reality television personality (Hell’s Kitchen)
  • 1975 Tara Reid, Wyckoff, New Jersey, actress (American Pie, Alone in the Dark, Sharknado movies)

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When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. – Japanese Proverb
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1889 Montana is admitted as the 41st U.S. state.
  • 1895 Wilhelm Rontgen discovers x-rays.
  • 1932 Franklin Delano Roosevelt is elected the 32d President of the United States defeating Herbert Hoover.
  • 1933 US President Franklin D. Roosevelt unveils the Civil Works Administration, an organization designed to create jobs for more than 4 million of the unemployed.
  • 1950 Korean War: United States Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shoots down two North Korean MiG-15s in the first jet aircraft-to-jet aircraft dogfight in history.
  • 1960 John F. Kennedy is elected over Richard M. Nixon (youngest man elected to that office – age 43; also first Roman Catholic president).
  • 1966 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson signs into law an antitrust exemption allowing the National Football League to merge with the upstart American Football League.
  • 1972 HBO launches its programming, with the broadcast of the 1971 movie Sometimes a Great Notion, starring Paul Newman and Henry Fonda.
  • 1973 The right ear of John Paul Getty III is delivered to a newspaper together with a ransom note, convincing his father to pay 2.9 million USD.
  • 2011 The potentially hazardous asteroid 2005 YU55 passed 0.85 lunar distances from Earth (about 324,600 kilometres or 201,700 miles), the closest known approach by an asteroid of its brightness since 2010 XC15 in 1976.

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Gloria doesn’t like writing new letters, so she wrote one that she can use when she likes a guy OR if she hates him. Just a matter of punctuation…

DEAR JOHN LETTER ONE:

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will you let me be yours? Gloria

DEAR JOHN LETTER TWO:

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Gloria

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“How’s the new boyfriend?”
“Great! He’s a zombie, you know.”

“What?!? And that’s okay with you?”
“Sure. At least with him, I’ve finally got a man who wants me for my brain!”
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ONE-LINERS: On Elections . . .

~ The problem with political jokes is they get elected. —Henry Cate, VII
~  I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. — Adlai Stevenson
~ Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. — Author Unknown
~ George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles. — Author Unknown

~ Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. — George Carlin
~ There are always too many Democratic congressmen, too many Republican congressmen, and never enough US congressmen. — Author Unknown
~ We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice. — Woody Allen
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Moses Montefiore, the great nineteenth-century philanthropist, once found himself seated next to an anti-Semitic nobleman at a dinner party. “I have just returned from Japan,” the nobleman was saying, “and it is a most unusual country. Did you know that it has neither pigs nor Jews?”

“In that case,” Montefiore replied, “you and I should go there, so it will have a sample of each.”
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She: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, and troubles and lighten your burden.

He: That’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.

She: We aren’t married yet.
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pic of the day: Cotton Field in northern Alabama

picture of cotton field
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ Canus Major was the original alpha dog.
~ I hated being a math teacher. It was a miscalculated move.
~ I was nervous before hernia surgery. My stomach was in knots.

~ So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!? It’s not the end of the world!
~ I was late starting to put the insulation at the front and now I’m lagging behind.
~ The worker at Cape Canaveral wanted to make a sandwich, so he went to the deli to buy some launchin’ meat.

~ It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
~ Where did the Martian put his teacup?
On his flying saucer.
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George had told all of his friends about the great steak he’d eaten downtown the day before. A group of them decided to head down and see if was really as large and delicious as George was making it out to be.
….The group was seated in the back of the restaurant. After looking over the menu, they ordered and waited, hungrily, for their large, delicious pieces of beef.

To their collective disappointment, the waiter brought out some of the smallest steaks they’d ever seen.

“Now see here,” a very embarrassed George said to the waiter. “Yesterday when I came down here you served me a BIG, juicy, steak. Today, though, when I have my friends about, you serve small steaks! What is the meaning of this???”
…..“Yes, sir,” replied the waiter, “well, yesterday you were sitting by the window.”
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This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Her professor observed what she was about to do, out of the corner of his eye and hurried towards her, and after confirming this was what she was intending to do, asked her first to stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.

She was puzzled and ran after him to ask the purpose of this action.
“It will give me time to get away,” said the professor.
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A German Shepherd, a Doberman, and a cat have died. All three are face to face with God, who wants to know what they believe in.
The German shepherd says: “I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master.”
…..“Good,” says God, “then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?”

The Doberman answers: “I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master.”
“Aha, ” said God, “you may sit to my left.” Then he looks at the cat and asks: “And what do you believe in?”
……The cat answers: “I believe you’re sitting in my seat.”
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A little TOO frugal???

A Tightwad Contest in Oakland has been won by a retired welder who separates two-ply toilet paper to save money.

“It’s no trouble at all; it just takes a little practice,” said Luis Torres, 64, who won top honors in a “How Cheap Are You?” contest sponsored by the Oakland Tribune. He also buys generic groceries and day-old baked goods, reuses plastic bags and never tosses out soap slivers. “I always did things to save money,” said Torres, who attributes his frugal ways to growing up with 14 siblings.

Runners-up included a Berkeley couple who said they save dental floss on a bathroom hook for reuse, and a Richmond man who claimed he refreezes used ice cubes. (One couple said they collect 2-for-1 coupons to restaurants and then invite another couple. “We make them pay for their half, and we dine free,” they wrote.) And from Elmer Hurren in El Cerrito came this admission: When his vacuum cleaner bag fills, Hurren cuts one end, empties it and sews it up for reuse.

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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What does Dunce Day celebrate? On this day in 1308 a highly respected Catholic scholar known as Duns Scotus (born in Duns, Scotland) passed away. This man was in no way what we consider a dunce today. In fact, he was extremely respected and well read, and he wrote extensively. Those who followed his school of thought frequently wore tall pointed caps and were known as Scotists, Duns, or Dunsmen.

~ So why do we call someone ignorant a dunce? In the 16th century followers of Duns opposed the “New Learning” of Renaissance humanists. As humanism became predominant, “Duns” or “dunce” became a rude epithet for anyone who refused to learn something new. This lead to the now common usage of the word dunce, “a person who is slow at learning; a stupid person”. Today wearing a dunce cap is a proclamation of ignorance.

~ What’s the best way to celebrate Dunce Day? Go back to the scholarly type of dunce and learn something new! 🙂

~ What is a Harvey Wallbanger? It’s a drink made with 3 parts vodka, 1 part Galliano and 6 parts orange juice, poured it into a highball glass and garnished with an orange slice and a maraschino cherry.

~ What is Cappuccino? It’s a popular Italian drink. The name came from the robe color of Capuchin friars, which is light or darkish brown with a white hood.

~ When do people in Italy drink cappuccinos? Usually during breakfast or on nights out. In other parts of the world, people take cappuccino anytime of the day.

~ Where is cappuccino drinking popular? For many years, cappuccino was popular only in Australia, Europe and some parts of North America. It wasn’t until 1990 that cappuccino shops opened their doors in all parts of North America and the Middle East.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: A little learning is a dangerous thing, but a lot of ignorance is just as bad. – Bob Edwards

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . A leader must have the courage to act against an expert’s advice. – James Callaghan

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