Pages Menu
Rss
Categories Menu

October 11th

Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have. – Doris Mortman


TODAY – OCTOBER 11th

284th day of the year (285th in leap years) with 81 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ It’s My Party Day
~ International Newspaper Carrier Day
~ National Sausage Pizza Day
~ Take Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
~ General Pulaski Memorial Day
~ National Coming Out Day
~ International Day of the Girl Child
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1809 Orson Squire Fowler, Cohocton, New York, phrenologist (popularized the octagon house in the middle of the nineteenth century)
  • 1844 Henry Heinz, German-American food manufacturer (founded Heinz company)
  • 1884 Eleanor Roosevelt, New York, New York, 39th First Lady of the United States (1933-1945), humanitarian
  • 1913 Joseph H. “Joe” Simon, Rochester, New York, comic book writer, artist, editor, and publisher (co-created Captain America)
  • 1925 Elmore John Leonard Jr., New Orleans, Louisiana, author (Get Shorty, Out of Sight, Hombre, Mr. Majestyk and Rum Punch, which was filmed as Jackie Brown; 3:10 to Yuma and The Tall T)
  • 1953 David Morse, Beverly, Massachusetts, actor (St. Elsewhere, 12 Monkeys, The Rock, The Negotiator, The Green Mile,  American Experience, Hack, House, Disturbia, Treme, Outsiders)
  • 1962 Joan Cusack, NYC, New York, actress (Working Girl, Toy Story, What About Joan, Peep and the Big Wide World, Shameless)
  • 1966 Luke Perry, Mansfield, Ohio, actor (Beverly Hills 90210, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Fogbound, Invasion, Jeremiah, Supernova, Angel and the Badman, Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise, Riverdale)
  • 1976 Emily Deschanel, Los Angeles, California, actress (Cold Mountain, Bones, My Sister’s Keeper)
  • 1977 Matthew Bomer, Spring, Texas, actor (White Collar, American Horror Story, The Magnificent Seven, The Last Tycoon)

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
My recipe for life is not being afraid of myself, afraid of what I think or of my opinions. – Ertha Kitt
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1582 Because of the implementation of the Gregorian calendar, this day does not exist in this year in Italy, Poland, Portugal and Spain.
  • 1809 Along the Natchez Trace in Tennessee, explorer Meriwether Lewis dies under mysterious circumstances at an inn called Grinder’s Stand.
  • 1811 Inventor John Stevens’ boat, the Juliana, begins operation as the first steam-powered ferry (service between New York, New York, and Hoboken, New Jersey).
  • 1910 Ex-president Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first U.S. president to fly in an airplane. He flew for four minutes with Arch Hoxsey in a plane built by the Wright Brothers at Kinloch Field (Lambert-St. Louis International Airport), St. Louis, Missouri.
  • 1929 JC Penney opens store #1252 in Milford, Delaware, making it a nationwide company with stores in all 48 U.S. states.
  • 1958 NASA launches the lunar probe Pioneer 1 (the probe falls back to Earth and burns up).
  • 1968 NASA launches Apollo 7, the first successful manned Apollo mission, with astronauts Wally Schirra, Donn F. Eisele and Walter Cunningham aboard.
  • 1976 George Washington’s appointment, posthumously, to the grade of General of the Armies of the United States by congressional joint resolution Public Law 94-479 is approved by President Gerald R. Ford.
  • 1984 Aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger, astronaut Kathryn D. Sullivan becomes the first American woman to perform a space walk.
  • 2001 The Polaroid Corporation files for federal bankruptcy protection.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A woman ordered a new stove from a retailer. However, the stove was delivered while the woman was at work one day.
When the woman got home, she noticed that the new stove had been installed and her old stove was missing. She frantically called the retailer and asked, “Where is my old stove?”
The retailer replied that she just had a new one delivered to her. The woman asked again, “Where is my old stove?”

The retailer replied. “Your new stove has all the latest features,” and he proceeded to list them all.
The woman interrupted “Where is my old stove?”
The retailer concerned and bewildered asked the woman why she wanted to know where her old stove was.
The woman replied in anguish, ” My dinner is in the oven!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

GOLDEN OLDIE There is a story of a young man who used to make a few extra dollars as a bagpiper, who played mostly for funerals. One time he was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a cemetery in the Kentucky back country. The young man was not familiar with the area and got lost; and being a typical man, wouldn’t stop for directions. Finally he arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

All he saw were the diggers and crew left, and they were eating lunch. He felt bad and apologized to the men for being late, went to the side of the grave, and looked down. The vault lid was already in place, but not knowing what else to do, he started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He played his heart out for this man with no family and friends. He played like he’d never played before for this homeless man’s memory.

As he played “Amazing Grace,” the workers began to weep. They wept, he wept, they all wept together. When he finished, he packed up his bagpipes and started for his car. Though his head hung low, his heart was full.

Just as he was opening the door to his car, he heard one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before, and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

ONE-LINERS: Resumes
Unintentional yet funny gaffs from real job application forms

1. “I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”
2. “Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
3. “As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.”

4. “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
5. “Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”
6. “Marital status: often. Children: various.”

7. “Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.”
8. “The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
9. “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”

10. “References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

GOLDEN OLDIE A baby turtle was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb.

About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end. He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch. On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch.

Again, he landed in the leaves, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, “Don’t you think it’s time we told him he was adopted?”

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

My husband was water-skiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds.
My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ‘no, the steaks are too high.’

~ Which president was least guilty?
Lincoln. He is in a cent.

~ A couple hippy hangovers had a daughter they named Destiny.
No one ever thought she would make anything of herself, but after high school she went through hair cutting college and was soon receiving praises far and wide for her unique and fashionable styling skills. People from all over come in to have … a brush with Destiny.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

The junior high school principal had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints. So he spoke to the teachers and asked them for their help. They promised they would speak to the girls, but after two weeks, the situation didn’t improve at all.

He even called a few of the girls parents who were his friends for their advice, but to no avail. The mirrors were constantly a mess.

Finally he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the mirrors.

You could see the young girls smiling at each other, all nodding publicly but smirking to one another.

The principle then asked the custodian, who was present, to demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors.

The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the mirror. From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

“Have you ever tried marriage counseling?”
“Oh, we’ll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship. He was a communications major in
college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well and I act like I’m listening.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

Top 10 Reasons Why I don’t answer my email:

10. The dog chewed through my monitor cable and now I can’t read my e-mail.
9. I type with the two-finger “hunt ‘n peck” system and spend all my time “hunting”.
8. I have a rare disease, “Terminal Procrastination”.

7. You mean my PC can really reply to your Mac?
6. I’m so far behind, I don’t open my e-mail anymore.
5. I spilled hot tomato soup in my keyboard and only the delete key works now.

4. I work for the U.S. Post Office and we find e-mail too threatening.
3. I’m waiting until my “Inbox” has 1,000,000 e-mails.
2. I play computer games 24 hours a day and don’t have time to reply to e-mail.

1. I try, but it says to press any key. My keyboard doesn’t have an “any” key!!!
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

A couple’s happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died.

On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, “Darling, if I didn’t love you so much, I don’t think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years.”

His wife looked at him aghast. “*My* Aunt Emma! she cried. I thought she was *your* Aunt Emma!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Which blood type is the most rare?  Type O is the most common blood type in the world. Type AB is the rarest. There is also a subtype called A-H, but to date, only three people in the world are known to have it.

~ How are moths like bees? Moths and butterflies pollinate flowers in the same manner as bees – they move from plant to plant carrying pollen on their hairy feet and promote cross-fertilization just as effectively as bees.

~ How much water does a toilet use? An average toilet uses 5 to 7 gallons of water every time it is flushed. A single leaky toilet can waste more than 50 gallons a day, amounting to 18,000 gallons a year.

~ Can a redwood catch fire? The bark of the redwood tree is fireproof. Fires in redwood forests take place inside the trees.

~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: Forget dusting! Dust is a protective coating for fine furnishings.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . The truest greatness lies in being kind, the truest wisdom in a happy mind. – Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.