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October 18th

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. – William James


TODAY – OCTOBER 18th

291st day of the year (292nd in leap years) with 74 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Alaska Day
~ International Legging Day
~ National Chocolate Cupcake Day
~ National Exascale Day
~ National No Beard Day
~ Persons Day in Canada (this day in 1929 Canada’s highest court of appeal made the decision to include women in the legal definition of “persons”)
~ World Menopause Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1897 Isabel Briggs Myers, American author (co-creator of personality test called Myers-Briggs Type Indicator)
  • 1819 Camilla Williams, Danville, Virginia, operatic soprano (1st African American to contract with major American opera company – New York City Opera)
  • 1926 Chuck Berry, St Louis, Missouri, rocker (Roll over Beethoven, Rock and Roll Music)
  • 1927 George C. Scott, Wise, Virginia, actor ( Patton, Dr. Strangelove, The Changeling, Legion)
  • 1944 Katherine Kurtz, Coral Gables, Florida, sci-fi author (Series: Deryni, Adept, Tales of the Knights Templar)
  • 1951 Pam Dawber, Detroit, Michigan, actress (Mork & Mindy, My Sister Sam, 101 Dalmatians: The Series)
  • 1951 Terry McMillan, Port Huron, Michigan, author (Waiting to Exhale, How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Disappearing Acts)
  • 1954 Arliss Howard, Independence, Missouri, actor / director (Full Metal Jacket, Ruby, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Medium, Rubicon, True Blood)
  • 1960 Jean-Claude Van Damme, Brussels, Belgium, actor (Bloodsport, Universal Soldier, Kickboxer, No Retreat, Kung Fu Panda, Kill’em All)
  • 1962 Vincent Spano, Brooklyn, New York, actor (Rumble Fish, City of Hope, Alive, Texas Rangers, Pandemic, Nevermore, This Magic Moment, Pearly Gates)
  • 1978 Wesley Jonathan, Los Angeles, California, actor (What I Like About You, The LeBrons, The Soul Man)
  • 1987 Zac Efron, San Luis Obispo, California, actor (High School Musical, Hairspray, The Greatest Showman)

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“I try to live life so that I can live with myself.” ― John Green
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1648 Boston Shoemakers form first U.S. labor organization.
  • 1767 Mason-Dixon line survey separating Maryland from Pennsylvania is completed.
  • 1867 United States takes possession of Alaska after purchasing it from Russia for $7.2 million. Celebrated annually in the state as Alaska Day.
  • 1898 United States takes possession of Puerto Rico.
  • 1922 British Broadcasting Company formed.
  • 1925 The Grand Ole Opry opens in Nashville, Tennessee.
  • 1945 The USSR’s nuclear program receives plans for the United States plutonium bomb from Klaus Fuchs at the Los Alamos National Laboratory.
  • 1955 New atomic subparticle called a negative proton (antiproton) was discovered at U.C. Berkeley.
  • 1964 The 1964-1965 New York World’s Fair closes for its first season after a six-month run.
  • 1967 Soviet probe Venera 4 reaches Venus and becomes the first spacecraft to measure the atmosphere of another planet.
  • 1968 The U.S. Olympic Committee suspends Tommie Smith and John Carlos for giving a “black power” salute during a victory ceremony at the Mexico City games.
  • 1979 Federal Communications Commission (FCC) begins allowing people to have home satellite earth stations without a federal government license.

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Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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When John returned to the house one evening, his wife announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels.
“Yeah,” said Dewey very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, “that wasn’t very nice of her to do.”

“You’re absolutely right it wasn’t,” she said. “And they were the two best towels we had …. you know the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel?!”
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ONE-LINERS:You’ll never hear at a Star Trek Convention. . .

~ “Jim Beam me up, Scotty.”
~ “Oooh, Girlfriend — Just look at all these hunks! Set your phaser for ‘Love!'”
~ “You’re nuts. Swimming is by far the hardest part of any Iron Man Triathalon.”

~ “Does this Star Fleet Academy uniform make me look fat?”
~ “I dunno, sometimes I wonder if the show was really deserving of all this attention.”
~ “Kirk, Picard… what’s the difference, they’re both losers. I’ll take Will Robinson and Dr. Smith any day.”
~ “It’s pointless to compare the original crew to the Next Generation, since they’re only fictional characters anyway.”
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Sign on the door of a church nursery quotes Paul in 1 Corinthians 15:51:
“Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed.”
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George III, after having purchased a horse, the dealer put into his hands a large sheet of paper, completely written over.
“What’s this?” said his majesty.

“The pedigree of the horse, sire, which you have just bought,” was the answer.
“Take it back, take it back,” said the king, laughing; “it will do very well for the next horse you sell.”
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WWJD — What Would Jesus Drive?
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, “God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury.”
But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to “pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm.”

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses’ followers are warned not to go up a mountain “until the Ram’s horn sounds a long blast.”
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn’t like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John’s gospel where Christ tells the crowd, “For I did not speak of my own Accord…”

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that “the roar of Moses’ Triumph is heard in the hills.”
Joshua drove a sports car with a hole in its muffler, “Joshua’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.”

And, following the Master’s lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda: “The Apostles were in one Accord.”
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PIC OF THE DAY: Chickens on pile of wood

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ADVICE FROM AN OLD FARMER

~ Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
~ Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
~ Live a good, righteous life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

~ Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
~ Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
~ If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

~ Always drink upstream from the herd.
~ Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
~ The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

~ Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
~ Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
~ If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
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GOLDEN OLDIE… A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage.

The man calls an usher over and whispers, “I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I’ll give you a handsome tip.”

The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up.

Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, “Follow me.” The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.
“Thanks so much,” says the theatergoer, “This seat is perfect.” He then hands the usher a quarter.

The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, “The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

~ Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent? The FDA refused to license it, though. Seems it was habit-forming.

~ Question: How did Christopher Columbus finance his trip to America? Answer: With the Discover Card.

~ Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist’s Novocain during root canal work? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
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At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine’s disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt.
A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner’s face or show concern.

Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs.
I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor.
The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza.
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John and Nancy, married for 40 years, planned a second wedding to renew their vows.
Nancy described to her friend the dress she would wear.

Nancy’s friend asked, “What color shoes?”
Nancy replied, “Silver.”
John chimed in: “Yep, silver … to match her hair.”

With a pointed look at John’s bald spot, Nancy’s friend said: “So, John, I guess you’ll go barefoot.”
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Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife shopping for a new dress. He endured more than two hours of listening to her complaints about which figure flaw each dress accentuated.

As she emerged from the dressing room, having tried on the last selection, she asked for her husband’s opinion. By this time he had learned just the right things to say. “It’s perfect!” he exclaimed. “It makes your waist look smaller, your legs look longer, and slenderizes your hips.”

Just then another lady in the dressing room spoke out. “If there is a dress here that will do that, I’ll buy them all!”
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Tech-Support Logic . . . One of the company’s finest technicians was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, “It’s leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is NATIONAL NO BEARD DAY? It is a day set aside for those of you with beards to shave it right off for a nice smooth clean shave.

~ What do you call a man who has no beard? All jokes aside, a man is called clean-shaven if he shaves off his facial hair.

~ How did people shave before razors were invented? Before the advent of razors, hair was sometimes removed using two shells to pull the hair out (ouch!). Later, around 3,000 BC, when copper tools were developed, copper razors were developed.

~ What great leader promoted shaving? Alexander the Great strongly promoted shaving during his reign in the 4th century BC. In fact, he made it a point never to go into battle unshaven.

~ Who invented the safety razor? Gillette invented the safety razor and bombarded the public with a massive ad campaign to promote its use. In the 1970s, they introduced a twin-blade razor. Then in 1998, Gillette introduce a three-blade system, the Gillette Mach 3.

~ Why did the U.S. Army buy safety razors in bulk fro Gillette during World War I? Chemical weapons were widely used for the first time during WWI, and bearded soldiers couldn’t safely wear gas masks. And then when the clean-shaven heroes came home, suddenly it was fashionable to shave.

~ What is the best way to get a close shave? Using either a safety razor or a straight razor will give you the closest shave along with a natural bristled shaving brush and shaving soap. Shaving aficionados swear by badger-hair brushes. If you want to go really over-the-top, get one made with only badger neck hair.

~ Who invented the electric razor? Schick invented the electric razor in 1928. Schick’s first design was rather unwieldy — the grapefruit-sized motor was in a case that connected to the shaving head with a flexible drive shaft. It took a few years for the electric razor to become popular.

~ What is National Exascale Day? It celebrates the scientists and researchers who make breakthrough discoveries in medicine, materials sciences, energy and beyond with the help of some of the fastest supercomputers in the world. It’s a celebration of those who keep asking what if, why not, and what’s next — with the advanced technology to attain the answers. The day also celebrates a new era of supercomputing that will enable breakthroughs in disciplines benefitting all of humankind. CRAY, a Hewlett Packard Enterprise company, founded National Exascale Day in 2019.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Part of the reason [motherly advice] bugs us as daughters is because our mothers are so powerful in our lives. They loom like giants. The reason mothers keep at it is because they’re so powerless. They cannot get you to do what is so obvious to them you should do. – Deborah Tannen

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