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October 25th

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – A.A. Milne


TODAY – OCTOBER 25th

298th day of the year (299th in leap years) with 67 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Chucky, the Notorious Killer Doll Day
~ National Cartoonists Against Crime Day
~ National Greasy Foods Day
~ Punk for a Day Day
~ Sourest Day (When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!)
~ World Pasta Day
~ Agent Orange Awareness Month

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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1825 Johann Strauss II (the younger), Austria, composer (Waltz King – The Blue Danube)
  • 1864 John Francis Dodge, Niles, Michigan, automobile manufacturing pioneer
  • 1881 Pablo Picasso, Spain, artist (3 Dancers, Guernica), sculptor
  • 1888 Richard E. Byrd, Winchester, Virginia, explorer (claimed his expeditions were first to reach the North Pole and the South Pole by air)
  • 1912 Minnie Pearl [Sarah Ophelia Colley], Centerville, Tennessee, comedienne and singer (Grand Old Opry, Hee-Haw)
  • 1928 Marion Ross, Watertown, Minnesota, actress (Marion-Happy Days, Brooklyn Bridge)
  • 1935 Russell Schweickart, Neptune, New Jersey, astronaut (Lunar module pilot for Apollo 9, 1st Skylab mission)
  • 1941 Anne Tyler, Minneapolis, Minnesota, author(Accidental Tourist)
  • 1941 Helen Reddy, Melbourne, Australia, singer (I Am Woman)
  • 1970 Adam Goldberg, Santa Monica CA, actor (Medium, Nancy Drew, Saving Private Ryan, Fargo series, The Jim Gaffigan Show)
  • 1979 Sarah Thompson, Los Angeles, California, actress (The Ice Storm, Angel, 7th Heaven, Cruel Intentions)
  • 1980 Mehcad Brooks, Austin, Texas, actor and former model ( Desperate Housewives, True Blood, Necessary Roughness, Supergirl)
  • 1984 Katy Perry, Santa Barbara, California, singer (I Kissed a Girl, Roar, Dark Horse)

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The Earth will not continue to offer its harvest, except with faithful stewardship. We cannot say we love the land and then take steps to destroy it for use by future generations. – Pope John Paul II
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1854 Known as The Charge of the Light Brigade, 670 British cavalrymen attacked a heavily fortified Russian position during the Crimean War and were killed.
  • 1901 Daredevil Annie Edson Taylor became the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
  • 1929 Market values of $5 billion were swept away in the greatest selling wave in the history of the New York Stock Exchange. The Wall Street Crash of 1929 would mark the beginning of a 10-year Depression which would affect the entire Western world.
  • 1962 Cuban missile crisis: Adlai Stevenson shows photos at the UN proving Soviet missiles are installed in Cuba.
  • 2004 Fidel Castro, Cuba’s President, announces that transactions using the American Dollar will be banned by November 8.
  • 2015 Four people killed after a suspected drunk driver plowed into an Oklahoma State University homecoming parade in Stillwater, Oklahoma

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I was bragging about my children’s world travels: one son was teaching in Bolivia, another was working in southern Italy, and my daughter was completing a year-long research project in India.

My co-worker was unimpressed. “What is it about you,” he asked, “that makes your kids want to get so far away?”
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Kev and Bill were talking one day. ‘My wife asked me to buy organic vegetables from the greengrocer’s,’ said Kevin.
‘So were you able to find some?” inquired Bill.

‘Well when I got to the shop, I asked the manager, ‘These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?”
Kevin continued, ‘The shopkeeper told me, ‘No, you’ll have to do that yourself.”
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ONE-LINERS: Ever Wonder …
~ Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
~ Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
~ Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’?

~ Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?
~ Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
~ Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

~ Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
~ If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
~ If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? (oh yeah…)

~ Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
~ Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
~ Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

~ Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”?
~ Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called “rush hour”?
~ Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?
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“Tech support, how may I help you?”
“I’m writing my first email.”

“OK, and what seems to be the problem?”
“Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the under-ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them.

“What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?” I joked.
“It would go out,” he replied very matter-of-factly.

“Really?” I asked, surprised to hear that. “Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?”
“No,” my co-worker continued. “The force from the explosion would blow out the match.”
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PIC OF THE DAY: Tom Turkey on Top of Roof
wild turkey on roof
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A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing “wedding.” The wedding vows went like this:

“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”
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A goober took a business trip to New York. When he arrived, the hotel clerk asked him a riddle.
“My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn’t my brother. It wasn’t my sister. Who was it?”

The goober thought long and hard, but eventually gave up. “I don’t know, who was it?”
The hotel clerk responded, “It was me!”

The goober thought that was hilarious. He couldn’t wait to get home and tell this funny joke to his family and friends back home.
When he arrived home they met him at the airport and he asked them: “My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn’t my brother. It wasn’t my sister. Who was it?”

His friends thought and thought about it until they gave up.
So he told them, “It was a hotel clerk I met in New York.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Many years ago there was a famous baseball pitcher named Wilt Famey. His career was brilliant, but in his last years his abilities decreased. Becoming depressed, he started drinking a lot of beer, both on and off the field.

In his last year in the major leagues, he was drunk in the dugout most of the time, but his team made it to the World Series. Wilt had not pitched throughout the entire series, but in the last half of the 9th inning of the final game, the score was tied, Wilt’s team was on the field, there were 2 outs, and the bases were loaded. His teammates called out, “Bring on Wilt Famey! He’ll save the game for us!”

Wilt staggered out of the dugout amongst all the beer cans, stumbled to the mound, and pitched four balls, walking the winning run across. As the opposing team was passing by Wilt’s team’s dugout, one of the players said, “Hey, what’s with all the beer cans in their dugout?” His teammate replied, “Didn’t you know? That’s the beer that made Milt Famey walk us!”

(and if you’re too young to remember the “The beer that made Milwaukee famous” commercials, that pun won’t mean much to you. 😉 Try watching an old commercial on YouTube.)

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Halloween Type Punniness. . .

What did the wizard say to his witch girlfriend?
Hello gore-juice!

What do wizards stop for on the motorway?
Witchhikers!

What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a wizard?
Tyrannosaurus hex!
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Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply “XX”.

Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.

He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. “Mr. Schwartz,” said the banker, “I need to ask you about this check. We weren’t sure you had really signed it. All these years you’ve been signing your checks ‘XX’, but we just got one that was signed with three XXX’s…”

Mr. Schwartz answered, “No problem, my friend. It’s just that since I’ve become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name.”
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Exchange of messages between a commuter and a subway company:

Gentlemen:

I have been riding subways daily for the last 22 years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse that that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.

Yours truly,
A. Commuter
—–

Dear Sir:

We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.

Sincerely,
A Subway

—–

Gentlemen:

I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the 9th Chapter of the Book of David, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass. That, gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your subway in the last 22 years.

Yours truly,
A. Commuter
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We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the “seniors’ special” was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”

“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.
“You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?” My wife asked incredulously. “I’ll take the special.”

“How do you want your eggs?”
“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.
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My memory really stinks. So I changed my password to “incorrect”.
That way when I log in with the wrong password the computer will tell me … “Your password is incorrect.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is Agent Orange? Agent Orange was a powerful herbicide used by U.S. military forces during the Vietnam War to eliminate forest cover and crops for North Vietnamese and Viet Cong troops. The U.S. program, code-named Operation Ranch Hand, sprayed more than 20 million gallons of various herbicides over Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos from 1961 to 1971. Agent Orange, which contained the deadly chemical dioxin, was the most commonly used herbicide.

~ What are the effects of being exposed to Agent Orange? The VA has recognized certain cancers and other health problems as presumptive diseases associated with exposure to Agent Orange or other herbicides during military service. These include:

  • AL Amyloidosis
  • Chronic B-cell Leukemias
  • Chloracne (or similar acneform disease)
  • Diabetes Mellitus Type 2
  • Hodgkin’s Disease
  • Ischemic Heart Disease
  • Multiple Myeloma
  • Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma
  • Parkinson’s Disease
  • Peripheral Neuropathy, Early-Onset
  • Porphyria Cutanea Tarda
  • Prostate Cancer
  • Respiratory Cancers (includes lung cancer)
  • Soft Tissue Sarcomas (other than osteosarcoma, chondrosarcoma, Kaposi’s sarcoma, or mesothelioma)

~ Who can be affected by Agent Orange? People directly exposed to Agent Orange can experience problems, but it isn’t limited to just those people. Birth defects such as spinal bifida have been reported in children of Veteran’s, and now another generation as grandchildren of Vietnam Veterans are being born with birth defects and heart problems that could be connected to exposure to Agent Orange.

~ How is Awareness of Agent Orange being spread? Articles such as this one noting that “October has been designated as a month to become more aware and informed about Agent Orange, its’ development, history and use as a defoliant and a product used in chemical warfare and thus its’ long-term effect on the human body.” help spread awareness.

Also, on Facebook, people are using one of these pictures as your profile picture such as thebadge here, to show support for Agent Orange victims and spread awareness.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” ― Linda Grayson

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . .
“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” ― Muhammad Ali

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