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October 8th

It is a wise man that does know the contented man is never poor, whilst the discontented man is never rich. – Frank Herbert


281st day of the year (282nd in leap years) with 84 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ American Touch Tag Day
~ National Fluffernutter Day
~ National Pierogi Day
~ National Pretzel Month
~ Clergy Appreciation Month
~ Columbus Day (Second Monday in October)
~ Native American Day (2nd Monday in October)
~ National Online Bank Day (2nd Monday in October)
~ National Kick Butt Day (Second Monday in October)


  • 1890 Eddie Rickenbacker, Columbus, Ohio, fighter ace in WWI, pioneer in air transportation (former head of Eastern Air Lines)
  • 1913 Robert Gilruth, Nashwauk, Minnesota, aviation and space pioneer (involved in Mercury, Gemini & Apollo projects)
  • 1920 Frank Herbert, Tacoma, Washington, photographer, author (Series: Dune, The Pandora Sequence, ConSentiency Universe)
  • 1939 Paul Hogan, Australian actor (Crocodile Dundee movies)
  • 1943 Chevy Chase, NYC, New York, actor & comedian (National Lampoon’s Vacation films, Caddyshack, Fletch)
  • 1943 R.L. Stine, Columbus, Ohio, author (Fear Street, Goosebumps, Rotten School, Mostly Ghostly, Nightmare Room)
  • 1949 Sigourney Weaver, NYC, New York, actress (Aliens, Ghostbusters, Gorilla in the Mist, Avatar), singer, and producer
  • 1967 Emily Procter, Raleigh, North Carolina, actress (Jerry Maguire, Big Momma’s House 2, The West Wing, CSI: Miami )
  • 1969 Jeremy Davies, Traverse City, Michigan, actor (Saving Private Ryan, Lost, Justified, Texas Rising, Sleepy Hollow)
  • 1979 Kristanna Loken, Ghent, New York, actress (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, BloodRayne, Burn Notice, Black Rose, Repeater)
  • 1985 Bruno Mars, Honolulu, Hawaii, singer-songwriter (Uptown Funk), producer, and actor (The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Rio 2)

In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. – Bertrand Russell


  • 1829 Stephenson’s The Rocket wins The Rainhill Trials, an important competition in the early days of steam locomotive railways.
  • 1860 Telegraph line between Los Angeles and San Francisco opens.1871 Four major fires break out on the shores of Lake Michigan in Chicago, Peshtigo, Wisconsin, Holland, Michigan, and Manistee, Michigan including the Great Chicago Fire, and the much deadlier Peshtigo Fire.
  • 1956 New York Yankees’s Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game in a World Series; one of only 20 perfect games in MLB history.
  • 1958 Dr. Åke Senning implanted the first internal heart pacemaker, developed working with the doctor and engineer Dr. Rune Elmqvist.
  • 1974 Franklin National Bank collapses due to fraud and mismanagement; at the time it is the largest bank failure in the history of the United States.
  • 1982 Cats opens on Broadway and runs for nearly 18 years before closing on September 10, 2000.
  • 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announces the establishment of the Office of Homeland Security.
  • 2014 Thomas Eric Duncan, the first person in the United States to be diagnosed with Ebola, dies.


Here’s a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it’s loud and you can’t turn it down.

I leave the number of the room next to me.
It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell,
“Why are you calling me?”

Then you get up and take a shower. It’s great.

I made a “rolling stop” through a stop sign and was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former English teacher.

“Mrs. Brown,” he said, “those stop signs are periods, not commas.”

Two farmers are talking to each other over a 5-bar gate when one turns to the others and asks, ‘Do your cows smoke?

“Are you kidding? Of course not!” answered the first one, surprised.
“Well then your barn must be burning!”

ONE-LINERS: Some “Senior” personal ads seen in Florida and Arizona newspapers:
~ FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim,5′-4″ (used to be 5-6), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
~ MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition, some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn’t in running condition, but walks well.

~ LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six- unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
~ SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

~ WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
~ BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the air guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my boss collection of eight-track tapes.

~ MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

An oldie but goodie…
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Bob the computer guy, to come over. Bob clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call.
As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?” He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that, in case I need to fix it again?”

The computer guy grinned…. “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.

“Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”
So I wrote out…. I D 1 0 T
I used to like Bob!

~ What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout? Monkfish!
~ What bit of fish doesn’t make sense? The piece of cod that passeth all understanding!
~ What is dry on the outside, filled with water and blows up buildings? A fish tank!
~ What was the Tsar of Russia’s favorite fish? Tsardines!
~ What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
~ Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes.”
The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.”
The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, “She made me a much better offer.”

The phone rang in the stockbroker’s office.
“May I speak with Mr. Bradford?”
“I’m sorry. Mr. Bradford is on another line.”

This is Mr. Ingram’s office. We’d like to know if he’s bullish or bearish right now.”
“He’s talking to his wife. Right now I’d say he’s sheepish.”

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Six housewives living in the same apartment building fell into a dispute of such magnitude that it resulted in their being hauled into court. When the case was called, they all made a concerted rush for the bench; and reaching it, all broke into bitter complaints at the same moment. The judge sat momentarily stunned as charges and counter-charges filled the air.

Suddenly he rapped for order. When quiet had been restored, the patient magistrate said gently, “Now, I’ll hear the oldest first.”

That closed the case.

Maxine-isms. . .
* Maxine on “Technology Revolution” — “My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.”
* Maxine on “Driver Safety” — “I cannot use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”
* Maxine on “Lawn Care” — “The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.”

* Maxine on “Aging” — “Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita.”
* Maxine on “The Perfect Man” — “All I’m looking for is a guy who will do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.”

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Does recycled glass save energy?
Recycled glass uses only two-thirds the energy needed to manufacture glass from scratch. That means for every soft drink bottle that is recycled, enough energy is saved to run a television set for an hour and a half.

~ Why was golf banned in England? Golf was banned in England and Scotland in 1457 by King James II because he claimed it distracted people from the archery practice necessary for national defense.

~ What’s the best way to make chocolate chip cookies? Chocolate chip cookies are made with sugar, flour, eggs, semi-sweet baker’s chocolate and butter. While the Toll House recipe is considered the standard, the ingredients can be adjusted to give the cookies slightly different properties.

– For a thin, crisp cookie, increase the baking soda by up to 50%, replace one of the eggs with milk, and raise the ratio of brown sugar to white.
– For a soft, cakey cookie, use cake flour, substitute baking powder for baking soda, and use shortening instead of butter.
– For a chewy cookie, use bread flour, omit one egg white, and melt the butter before incorporating it into the mix.
– Sometimes a crunch is added by putting nuts in the cookies.
QUIP OF THE DAY: A woman drove me to drink … and I hadn’t even the courtesy to thank her. –W.C. Fields


Thought for the day. . . Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas A. Edison

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