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October 9th

“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.” ― Kalu Ndukwe Kalu

TODAY – OCTOBER 9th

282nd day of the year (283rd in leap years) with 83 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Fire Prevention Day
~ Leif Erikson Day
~ Moldy Cheese Day
~ National Nanotechnology Day
~ Submarine-Hoagy-Hero-Grinder Day
~ World Post Day
~ Curious Events Day (celebrates the great mysteries of the world)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1873 Charles Walgreen, Knoxville, Illinois, businessman (founded Walgreens)
  • 1915 Belva Plain, NYC, New York, author (Evergreen, Treasures, Daybreak, Secrecy, Her Father’s House)
  • 1935 Prince Edward, Duke of Kent, member of the British Royal Family
  • 1940 John Lennon, Liverpool, England, musician and songwriter (The Beatles)
  • 1941 Brian Lamb, Lafayette, Indiana, broadcaster, founded C-SPAN in 1979
  • 1943 Mike Peters, St. Louis, Missouri, cartoonist (Mother Goose and Grimm)
  • 1952 Sharon Osbourne, English television host, author (wife of Ozzy Osbourne)
  • 1954 Scott Bakula, St. Louis, Missouri, actor (Quantum Leap, Star Trek: Enterprise, NCIS: New Orleans)
  • 1958 Michael Paré, Brooklyn, New York, actor (The Greatest American Hero, Eddie and the Cruisers, The Philadelphia Experiment, Houston Knights, Hope Floats, Starhunter, Gone, Suddenly)
  • 1963 Sheila Kelley, Greensburg, Pennsylvania, actress (L.A. Law, Sisters, Lost, Gossip Girl, The Guest)
  • 1979 Brandon Routh, Norwalk, Iowa, actor (Superman Returns, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night, Chuck, Partners, Arrow )
  • 1992 Tyler James Williams, Westchester County, New York, actor and singer (Little Bill, Everybody Hates Chris, Let It Shine, The Walking Dead)

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I must admit I do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1635 Founder of Rhode Island Roger Williams is banished from the Massachusetts Bay Colony as a religious dissident after he speaks out against punishments for religious offenses and giving away Native American land.
  • 1888 The Washington Monument officially opens to the general public.
  • 1945 Parade in NYC for Fleet Admiral Nimitz and 13 USN/USMC Medal of Honor recipients
  • 1969 In Chicago, the United States National Guard is called in for crowd control as demonstrations continue in connection with the trial of the “Chicago Eight” that began on September 24.
  • 1986 The musical The Phantom of the Opera has its first performance at Her Majesty’s Theatre in London.
  • 1989 An official news agency in the Soviet Union reports the landing of a UFO in Voronezh.
  • 2003 Mission: SPACE opens to the public in the Epcot park at Walt Disney World. The opening ceremony included several astronauts from all eras of space exploration.
  • 2009 First lunar impact of the Centaur and LCROSS spacecrafts as part of NASA’s Lunar Precursor Robotic Program.

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At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.

One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”
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Pavlov is sitting in a diner when all of the sudden the phone rings.
Pavlov gasps, “Oh no, I forgot to feed the dogs.”
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“I heard you passed your boards and you’re a doctor! Congratulations!”
“Thank you.”

“Now if I break my arm, you’ll be able to fix it.”
“Actually, I’ve been able to fix your arm for some time. The important thing is that now I can bill you for it.”
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ONE-LINERS: YOU KNOW YOU’RE NO LONGER A KID WHEN…

~ Driving a car doesn’t always sound like fun.
~ Just one peanut butter and jelly sandwich doesn’t do it any more.
~ The average ten-year-old doesn’t have a clue who Bo and Luke Duke are.

~ Being bad is no longer cool.
~ You have friends who have kids.
~ Saturday mornings are for sleeping.

~ Your parents’ jokes are now funny.
~ You are taller than the slide at the McDonald’s playland.
~ You would rather wear your dirty clothes again, ’cause mom is not there to do your laundry anymore.

~ Naps are good.
~ Hitting girls is no longer considered flirting.
~ When things go wrong, you can’t just yell, “Do-over!”

~ The only thing in your cereal box is…cereal.
~ You actually buy scarves, gloves, and sunscreen.
~ Your idea of fun parties now include chips ‘n’ salsa and Snapple.

~ You WANT clothes for Christmas.
~ You leave concerts and ballgames early to beat the crowd.
~ You don’t want a Camaro because of the insurance premiums.
~ You look in the surveillance camera monitor at the convenience store, wonder who that guy is standing at the counter with the bald spot, and then realize it is a shot of you from behind.
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When my son was in the Air Force, my wife and I visited quite often. On our first visit, we were allowed inside this top secret Communications Center, but everything in sight was covered up so we could look around everywhere — Heck, even the toilet paper in the Men’s room was disguised.

Anyway, at the exit, there’s a sign above the door, which reads: “You have been exposed to Top Secret Material. Please destroy yourself before leaving the building.”
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Purely by coincidence, I ran into my husband at the grocery store. He was carrying a beautiful pink azalea.
I joked, “That better be for me.”
From behind, a woman’s voice: “It is now.”
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GOLDEN OLDIE… As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next to him. After taking off, the flight attendant comes around to serve the passengers on the plane. The guy asks the flight attendant for a coffee and the parrot squawks: “And get ME a coke…NOW!”

The flight attendant, flustered by the parrot’s attitude, brings back a coke for the parrot. However, she forgets the coffee for the guy.

As the guy points this out, the parrot drains his glass and screams, “Get me another coke or I’ll really create a scene!”

Quite upset, the attendant comes back shaking, with another coke, but still no coffee.

Irritated at her forgetfulness, the man decides to try the parrot’s approach. “I’ve asked you twice for a coffee. Go and get it right now, or I’ll create a scene that will make HIS look like a Victorian tea party!”

The next moment, both the guy and the parrot are grabbed and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly security guards.

Hurtling towards earth, the parrot turns to him and says: “You’re pretty cheeky for a guy who can’t fly!”

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

I bought a pair of electrified hand-warming gloves. But occasionally sparks traveled from one glove to the other.
I returned them to the store where I’d bought them but could not get the problem to replicate while the Returns
manager was watching.

“I guess,” she finally said, “that it’s just an inter-mitten problem.”
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Billy Bob exasperated his fellow soldiers with his slow, slow drawl. They even stopped asking him to say grace at meals in the mess hall because by the end of his prayer the food was cold.

Anyway, Billy Bob applied for Airborne training, was accepted and finally he’s ready for his first jump. The jump master tells him, “Count to five and pull the cord.”

So Billy Bob jumps. His parachute doesn’t open, and he hits the ground, SPLAT!! The ambulance rushes to where he is, and when the medics rush over they’re encouraged to see his lips move! As they strain to listen to his words they hear, “… f o u r ….”

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I was attending an outdoor music concert with a young woman I’d recently begun dating. Standing at the back of the crowd, we wrapped our arms around each other, swaying to the music.
After a particularly romantic song, my date turned to face me. With a loving smile, she said, “I wish we were closer.”

Totally thrilled, I looked into her eyes and whispered, “Do you mean our houses or our friendship?”
Puzzled, she replied, “To the stage.”
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A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, “We’ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning.”

Her husband replies, “Well, lots of dogs can do that.”

The wife responded, “But we’ve never subscribed to any!”
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Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.

Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, “There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit.”

After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth.

Perplexed, he asked, “Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?”

“It’s very simple,” replied the tailor, “The other tailor has two sons.”

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TODAY IN TRIVIAHow were “Penny Blacks” unique? The earliest adhesive postage stamps in the world were the “Penny Blacks” of the United Kingdom, bearing the head of Queen Victoria, placed on sale on May 1 for use on May 6, 1840.

~ Which is the oldest form of measurement? The cubit is the oldest known measurement, appearing in the Bible when God gives Noah instructions for the ark. Described as a Royal Cubit, it was measured from the elbow to the thumb knuckle. It was a means of insuring that the nobility got a larger share at the market place

~ How big can a jellyfish get? The largest jellyfish in the world has a bell that can reach 8 feet across and tentacles that extend over half the length of a football field.

~ Has a Native American ever been vice president? One Native American has served as vice president of the United States. Charles Curtis of Kansas was Pres. Herbert Hoover’s vice president. Curtis’s mother was a full-blooded member of the Kaw tribe.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. – Billy Crystal

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . “It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” ― Vincent van Gogh

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