A friend is one of the nicest things you can have, and one of the best things you can be. – Douglas Pagels
TODAY – SEPTEMBER 10th
253rd day of the year (254th in leap years) with 112 days to follow.
Holidays for Today:
~ National TV Dinner Day
~ Swap Ideas Day
~ World Suicide Prevention Day
~ California Wine Month
~ Whole Grains Month
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
- 1836 Joseph Wheeler, Augusta, Georgia, military commander & politician (rare distinction of serving during war for opposing forces: first as cavalry general in Confederate States Army in Army of Tennessee during 1860s, then in U.S. Army in Spanish-American War; served many terms as U.S. Representative from Alabama).
- 1898 Waldo Semon, Demopolis, Alabama, inventor (invented vinyl, the 2nd most used plastic in the world. Held over 100 patents.)
- 1918 Rin Tin Tin, German Shepherd found by American serviceman, movie star (Man from Hell’s River, Where the North Begins, The Lightning Warrior) Successors played in more movies and on television.
- 1929 Arnold Palmer, Latrobe, Pennsylvania, golfer (The King / leading money winner in PGA for 1958, 1960, 1962 & 1963)
- 1934 Charles Kuralt, Wilmington, North Carolina, journalist (“On the Road” segments on CBS News with Walter Cronkite; 1st anchor CBS News Sunday Morning)
- 1934 Roger Maris, Hibbing, Minnesota, baseball right fielder (played 12 seasons in MLB, in 1961 broke Babe Ruth’s single-season home run record of 60 runs, record stood for 37 years)
- 1945 Mike Mullane, Wichita Falls, Texas, retired USAF and NASA astronaut (flew 3 Space Shuttle missions: STS-41-D, STS-27, STS-36)
- 1949 Bill O’Reilly, New York City, New York, television host, author, and political commentator (The O’Reilly Factor )
- 1954 Clark Johnson, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actor (The Dead Zone, Wild Thing, Adventures in Babysitting, Homicide: Life on the Street, Alpha House, Bosch)
- 1960 Colin Firth, English actor (Pride and Prejudice, The King’s Speech, Hope Springs, Nanny McPhee)
- 1969 Johnathon Schaech, Edgewood, Maryland, actor (That Thing You Do!, Hush, Woundings, Angels Fall, Party of Five, Quarantine, Takers)
- 1972 James Duval, Detroit, Michigan, actor (Miguel in Independence Day, Go, Blue Dream, American Romance, Without Ward, Spreading Darkness)
A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body… the wishbone. – Robert Frost
- 1608 John Smith is elected council president of Jamestown, Virginia.
- 1776 Nathan Hale volunteers to spy for the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War.
- 1813 The United States defeats the British Fleet at the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812.
- 1846 Elias Howe is granted a patent for the sewing machine.
- 1932 The New York City Subway’s third competing subway system, the municipally-owned IND, is opened.
- 1937 Nine nations attend the Nyon Conference to address international piracy in the Mediterranean Sea.
- 1946 Sister Teresa Bojaxhiu of the Loreto Sisters’ Convent claimed to have heard the call of God while riding a train to Darjeeling, directing her “to leave the convent and help the poor while living among them”. She was later known as Mother Teresa.
- 1960 At the 1960 Summer Olympics in Rome, Abebe Bikila becomes the first sub-Saharan African to win a gold medal, winning the marathon in bare feet.
- 2002 Switzerland, traditionally a neutral country, joins the United Nations.
- 2008 The Large Hadron Collider at CERN, described as the biggest scientific experiment in history is powered up in Geneva, Switzerland.
A woman and her young daughter were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother one Sunday. As they passed through the cemetery on the way back to their car, the little girl said, “Mommy? Do they ever bury in the same grave?”
“Oh no, of course not, dear!” the mother replied. “Why on earth would you think that?”
“Well, that one back there said ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'”
My job is in the aerospace industry, and it’s always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do.
At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be as generic as possible. When the subject came up while I was talking with a group of guys, I replied simply, “Defense contractor.”
The men nodded, and as the conversation went on, I silently declared victory to myself. Then, one of them turned to me and asked, “So, what do you put up mainly? Chain-link?”
ONE-LINERS: Why ENGLISH is so Hard to Learn
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Three nurses died and went to Heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter, who questioned them.
“What did you used to do back on Earth?” he asked the first nurse. “Why do you think you should be allowed into Heaven?”
She told him, “I was a nurse at an inner city hospital. I worked to bring healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor children.”
“Very noble. You may enter.” And he ushered her through the gates. He asked the same questions to the next nurse.
“I was a missionary nurse in the Amazon. For many years I worked with a small group of doctors and nurses to help people in numerous tribes, healing them and telling them of God’s love.” The second nurse replied.
“Excellent!” said St. Peter. And he ushered her through the gates as well. Finally he posed his questions to the third nurse. She hesitated, then explained, “I was just a nurse at an HMO.”
St. Peter considered her answer for a moment, then told her, “Well, you can enter, too.”
“Wow!” the nurse exclaimed in relief. “I almost thought you weren’t going to let me in.”
“Oh, you can certainly come in,” St. Peter told her, “but you can only stay for three days.”
I do not think — therefore I am not.
Here is the illustration of this principle:
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, “Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?”.
Descartes replied, “I think not.”, and promptly vanished.
Long, unproductive meetings are often the bane of corporate life. My very funny boss at the software company where I work has come up with what just might be the perfect way to cut business conferences short before they start rambling out of control. There comes a time when he announces, “All those opposed to my plan say, ‘I resign.'”
End of meeting.
GOLDEN OLDIE… There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired.
Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines.
They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.
The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, “This is where your problem is.” The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.
The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service.
They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:
“One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it $49,999”
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having a terrible time keeping time with the rest of the band.
Finally, the band leader said, “Look, either you learn to keep time or I’ll throw you overboard. It’s up to you, sync or swim.”
On Coast Guard cutters, low-ranking crew members take turns in the galley helping the cooks. One young seaman aboard was always dropping dishes and spilling food.
One day, alone in the galley, he noticed an unfrosted yellow sheet cake cooling on a counter. Determined to rectify past errors, the seaman made chocolate icing and decorated the cake with it. The seaman stood proudly by the dessert as the head cook returned to the galley.
Frantically, the cook began to look around. “Where did my CORNBREAD go?” he shouted.
A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game. He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game.
The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled, “Darn it, the jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going.”
GOLDEN OLDIE…. A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa. She took her faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the Dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.
So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The dachshund thinks, “OK, I’m in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.” Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and he slinks away into the trees.
“Whew,” says the leopard. “That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.
But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”
Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet…and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says…
“Where’s that bloody monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”
So remember ……. “IF YOU CAN’T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH BS.”
TODAY’S TRIVIA: What is Swap Ideas Day? It’s a day to share thoughts, barter goods, exchange ideas, trade opinions and discuss viewpoints with family members, friends, co-workers and strangers. This unofficial holiday is a celebration of the collaborative spirit.
~ What locations in Alabama are named after Joseph Wheeler? Locations in Alabama named after Wheeler include Joe Wheeler State Park, Wheeler Lake and Dam, and the Wheeler National Wildlife Refuge. Wheeler Mountain, just south of Tuscumbia, in northwest Alabama, is also named for him and is a foothill of the Appalachians. Also, Joe Wheeler Electric Cooperative in northwest Alabama also honors him.
~ In what other way did Alabama honor Joseph Wheeler? The state of Alabama also donated a bronze statue of Joseph Wheeler to the National Statuary Hall Collection at the United States Capitol.
~ What locations in Georgia are named after Joseph Wheeler? There is the Joseph Wheeler High School in Marietta, Georgia, and Wheeler County, Georgia are named after him. There is also Wheeler Road, a main thoroughfare through west Augusta, that is named after Wheeler as well, plus Camp Wheeler, near Macon, Georgia (which served as an army base during both World Wars).
QUIP OF THE DAY: Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please – Mark Twain.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. – Robert Brault