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September 11th

Every day is a new opportunity to be grateful, and enjoy the world, and improve it ­ in our own little ways. – Terri Guillemets


TODAY – SEPTEMBER 11th

254th day of the year (255th in leap years) with 111 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ 911 National Day of Service and Remembrance
~ Patriot Day
~ National Hot Cross Bun Day
~ National Make Your Bed Day
~ No News is Good News Day
~ Emergency Number Day (9-1-1; proclaimed by President Reagan on August 26 in 1987)
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1862 O. Henry (William Sydney Porter), Greensboro, North Carolina, author (The Gift of the Magi, The Ransom of Red Chief, A Retrieved Reformation)
  • 1865 D. H. Lawrence, English author (The Lost Girl, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, Twilight in Italy & Other Essays, Sea & Sardinia)
  • 1913 Paul “Bear” Bryant, Fordyce, Arkansas, football player and head coach of University of Alabama for 25 years (6 national championships, 13 conference championships)
  • 1937 Robert Crippen, Beaumont, Texas, retired USN Captain, astronaut (4 Space Shuttle missions/ 3 as commander / STS-1, STS-7, STS-41-C, STS-41-G)
  • 1939 Charles Geschke, Cleveland, Ohio, inventor and businessman (co-founder w/ John Warnock of Adobe Systems Inc)
  • 1958 Roxann Dawson, Los Angeles, California, actress (B’Elanna Torres on Star Trek: Voyager), author (co-wrote Tenebrea trilogy w/ Daniel Graham)
  • 1959 Andre Dubus III, Oceanside, California, author (House of Sand and Fog, Townie, The Garden of Last Days)
  • 1962 Kristy McNichol, Los Angeles, actress (Apple’s Way, Family, Little Darlings, The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia, Empty Nest, Invasion America)
  • 1970 Taraji P. Henson, Washington, D.C., actress and singer (The Division, Boston Legal, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Person of Interest, Empire, Hidden Figures)
  • 1979 Ariana Richards, Healdsburg, California, actress (Prancer, Tremors, Jurassic Park, Timescape)
  • 1987 Tyler Hoechlin, Corona, California, actor (Road to Perdition, 7th Heaven, Teen Wolf)

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To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. – Bertrand Russell
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1789 Alexander Hamilton is appointed the first United States Secretary of the Treasury.
  • 1847 Stephen Foster’s well-known song, Oh! Susanna, is first performed at a saloon in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
  • 1857 Mormon settlers and Paiutes massacre 120 pioneers at Mountain Meadows, Utah, in what became known as The Mountain Meadows massacre.
  • 1940 The first remote operation of a computer is done by George Stibitz.
  • 1941 Ground is broken for the construction of The Pentagon.
  • 1961 Foundation of the World Wildlife Fund.
  • 1978 Janet Parker is the last person to die of smallpox, in a laboratory-associated outbreak.
  • 1985 Pete Rose breaks Ty Cobb’s baseball record for most career hits with his 4,192nd hit.
  • 1997 NASA’s Mars Global Surveyor reaches Mars.
  • 2001 Three hijacked aircraft are deliberately crashed into the twin World Trade Center towers in New York City and the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia, in a co-ordinated attack which became known as “9/11”. Another hijacked airliner in the same attack crashes in a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Nearly 3,000 people are killed.
  • 2012 The U.S. embassy in Benghazi, Libya is attacked, resulting in four deaths, including J. Christopher Stevens, the United States Ambassador to Libya.

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Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo.

As I handed my ten-year-old passport and the new picture to the clerk, I sighed. “I like the original better,” I told her.

“Trust me,” she said. “Ten years from now, you’ll like this one.”
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A busload of tourists arrives at Runnymede, England. They gather around the guide who says, “This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”

A man asks, “When did that happen?”
“1215,” answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, “Shoot! Just missed it by a half hour!”
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ONE-LINERS: THINGS LEARNED WITH TIME . . .

~ I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”

~ I’ve learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

~ I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

~ I’ve learned that people will forget what you said… people will forget what you did… but people will never forget how you made them feel.

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An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her lungs that she “knows how to use it and will shoot if required…. so get out of MY car!”

The 4 men didn’t wait around for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad, where upon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.

Small problem: Her key wouldn’t fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four or five spaces further down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a carjacking by a mad, elderly, white woman.

No charges were filed.

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pic of the day: 2004 Tribute in Light 911 Memorial

9-11 memorial
Two beams of light represent the former Twin Towers of the World Trade Center during the 2004 memorial of the September 11, 2001 attacks.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

He died as he had lived, a dirt-poor but happy farmer, Mother Nature’s caretaker in the heartland of America, and now as his son, Bud, listened to the reading of his father’s will bequeathing his last earthly possession, a female sheep, he heard the lawyer read … “This ewe’s for Bud.”
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PUN ZONE #2!

Two robins were sitting in a tree. “I’m really hungry”, said the first one. ”
Me, too”, said the second. “Let’s fly down and find some lunch.”
They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They ate and ate and ate ’til they could eat no more.

“I’m so full I don’t think I can fly back up to the tree,” said the first one.
“Me neither, let’s just lay here and bask in the warm sun”, said the second.
“OK” said the first. They plopped down, basking in the sun. No sooner than they had fallen asleep, a big fat tomcat snuck up and gobbled them up.
As he sat washing his face after his meal, he thought, “I love baskin’ robins.”
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Crazy Emergency Calls in Honor of Emergency Number Day

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Hi, is this the police?
Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
Caller: Well, I don’t know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I’ve never cooked one before.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn…I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn….
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the police.

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Our dog ran away and my poor wife was beside herself. I said, “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”
“I already did. It didn’t do any good.”

“What did the ad say?”
“It said, ‘Here, boy!!'”
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A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician, who was also a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his place of business, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and give his speech.

“I’ll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Where did the first demonstration of remote computing take place? A teletype terminal was used at the American Mathematical Association Meeting in Dartmouth, New Hampshire to communicate over phone lines with an attendant at the keyboard for input to George Stibitz’s Complex Number Calculator in New York. Later known as Bell Labs Model I Relay Computer, it used telephone relays and coded decimal numbers as groups of four binary digits (bits) each. It has been called the first electromechanical computer for routine use.

~How many countries have a McDonalds? There are more 25,000 McDonald’s restaurants in over 115 countries. McDonald’s has actually been remarkably responsive to the local cultures: they offer “ayran” (a popular chilled yogurt drink) in Turkey; McLaks (a grilled salmon sandwich) in Norway, and teriyaki burgers in Japan. In New Delhi, India, where Hindus shun beef and Muslims refuse pork, the burgers are made of mutton and called Maharaja Macs. And if you’re vegetarian, as many strict Hindus are, there’s the McAloo Tikki burger, a spicy vegetarian patty made of potatoes and peas.

~Do some people really have an extra joint? No one truly has double joints. Contortionists are actually able to stretch the fibrous tissues known as ligaments. Ligaments hold organs in place and fasten bones together. Ligaments normally restrict the movements of certain joints, but some folks find that their ligaments are more flexible than others.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an exception – Groucho Marx

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Success is due less to ability than to zeal. – Charles Buxton

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