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September 17th

All that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae. – Paul Walker


260th day of the year (261st in leap years) with 105 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Citizenship Day
~ Constitution Day
~ National Apple Dumpling Day
~ National Monte Cristo Day
~ National Professional House Cleaners Day
~ National Table Shuffleboard Day
~ Times Up Day
~ World Patient Safety Day
~ National Potato Month
~ National Organic Harvest Month


  • 1854 David Dunbar Buick, Scottish-born American, inventor (Founded Buick Motor company)
  • 1857 Konstantin Tsiolkovsky, Russian Empire, rocket scientist (considered to be one of the founding fathers of rocketry and astronautics)
  • 1916 Mary Stewart, British author (The Merlin Chronicles, The Moon-Spinners)
  • 1928 Roddy McDowall, British actor (My Friend Flicka, Lassie Come Home, Planet of the Apes, Cleopatra, Evil Under the Sun, Bedknobs & Broomsticks, A Bug’s Life)
  • 1930 Edgar Mitchell, Hereford, Texas, pilot and retired NASA astronaut (6th person to walk on the moon, 9 hours on lunar surface as lunar module pilot of Apollo 14)
  • 1930 Thomas Patten Stafford, Weatherford, Oklahoma, test pilot, consultant, former NASA astronaut (2 Gemini flights, commander of Apollo 10: 2nd manned mission to orbit moon, commander of Apollo-Soyuz flight / Gemini 6A, Gemini 9A, Apollo 10, ASTP)
  • 1931 Anne Bancroft, The Bronx, New York, actress (The Miracle Worker, The Graduate, Agnes of God, Young Winston, Antz, The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone)
  • 1932 Robert B. Parker, Springfield, Massachusetts, author (Spenser series: Promised Land & 39 others; Jesse Stone series: Night Passage, Trouble in Paradise, etc.)
  • 1935 Ken Kesey, La Junta, Colorado, author (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Caverns)
  • 1948 John Ritter, Burbank, California, actor (Three’s Company, 8 Simple Rules, Clifford the Big Red Dog)
  • 1962 BeBe Winans, Detroit, Michigan, gospel and R&B singer (Winans family)
  • 1963 William Shockley, Lawrence, Kansas, actor (Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Treasure Raiders)
  • 1965 Kyle Chandler, Buffalo, New York, actor (Early Edition, Super 8, Friday Night Lights, Homefront)
  • 1975 Jimmie Johnson, El Cajon, California, NASCAR race car driver (NASCAR Cup Series Champion for 6 years)

It is more easy to be wise for others than for ourselves. – François Duc de La Rochefoucauld


  • 1787 The United States Constitution is signed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
  • 1814 Francis Scott Key finishes his poem “Defence of Fort McHenry”, later to be the lyrics of “The Star-Spangled Banner”.
  • 1908 Lieutenant Thomas Selfridge a passenger in the Wright Flyer flown by Orville Wright, becomes the first airplane fatality when it crashes and he is killed.
  • 1920 The American Professional Football Association (later renamed National Football League) is organized in Canton, Ohio, United States.
  • 1961 The Civic Arena opens in Pittsburgh. It is the world’s first retractable-dome stadium.
  • 1976 The first Space Shuttle, Enterprise, is unveiled by NASA.
  • 1983 Vanessa Williams becomes the first black Miss America.
  • 2001 The New York Stock Exchange reopens for trading after the September 11 Attacks, the longest closure since the Great Depression.
  • 2006 Fourpeaked Mountain in Alaska erupts, marking the first eruption for the long-dormant volcano in at least 10,000 years.
  • 2007 AOL, once the largest ISP in the U.S., officially announces plans to refocus the company as an advertising business and to relocate its corporate headquarters from Dulles, Virginia to New York, New York.


The computer company, where my wife works, distributed a corporate-clothing catalogue that included a pair of cuff links. One was inscribed Ctrl (Control) and the other Esc (Escape), just as they look on a computer keyboard.
“They would make a good present for any man,” my wife commented to a colleague, “if only to remind him of the two things he can never have.”

I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married.
I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

A seriously drunk guy walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.
“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

ONE-LINERS: Laws of Work
– A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
– Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
– The more of it you put up with, the more of it you’re going to get.

– You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
– Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
– Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

– When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
– If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.

Three old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf.
The pro asked, “Did you guys have a good game today?”
The first old guy said, ” I had the most riders ever. I had five.”
The second old guy said, “I had 7 riders, the same as last time.”
The last old man said, “I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today.”

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, “I’ve been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but
what’s a rider?”
The pro said, “A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to actually get in the golf cart and ride to it.”

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.
She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The Mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with Daddy.”
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

PIC OF THE DAY: Fog and Fall Foliage
fog and fall foliage

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom, it was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.
The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.

Everything quickly turned to chaos.
The bride slapped the groom.
The groom’s mother fainted.
The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
The woman replied, “We can’t hear in the back.”

There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control. Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowly avoiding careening off the cliff. They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.

The manager said, “To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through process of exchanging ideas, develop a solution.”

The engineer said, “No that would take too long, besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it.”

The programmer said, “I think you’re both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again.”



The weatherman predicted a winter storm, so I headed for the store to pick up the only supplies I needed: a bag of salt for the driveway and batteries for my emergency radio and the kids’ toys.
I took his purchases to the checkout line. As I handed my credit card to the clerk I said, “I guess you’ll have to charge me with a salt and batteries.”

MORE PUNNINESS: How to get on in life…

~ “Take panes,” said the window.
~ “Never be led,” said the pencil.
~ “Tell me how to get on in life,” said the kettle.

~ “Do a driving business,” said the hammer.
~ “Make light of everything,” said the fire.
~ “Aspire to great things,” said the nutmeg grater.

~ “Just reflect,” said the mirror.
~ “Never do anything offhand,” said the glove.
~ “Make much of small things,” said the microscope.

~ “Be sharp,” said the knife.
~ “Find a good thing and stick to it,” said the glue.
~ And that’s why the kettle sings as she works, and works as she sings.

“When the prisoner was told by his lawyer that he had gotten a stay of execution, he smiled and said, ‘Well, no noose is good noose.’”

When I was invited to dinner with friends I took along a few pictures to show the hostess. She looked at the photos and commented “These are very good! You must have a really good camera.”
I didn’t say anything but as I was leaving to go home I said, “That was a delicious meal! You must have some really good pots.”

The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped, exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word.

“My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”
“It was terrible,” her husband said, “The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking.”

On the Listening Tour, a prominent politician was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop in a town he was visiting had named a sandwich after him.
He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it.
“Mostly baloney,” said the proprietor.

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a game on TV. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
“Listen to this, there’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season tickets.”
“Hmmm,” her husband said, not bothering to look away from the game.

Sarah said teasingly, “Would you swap me for season tickets?”
“Absolutely not,” he said, “the season’s more than half over.”!

TODAY IN TRIVIA: Do all tree leaves change color in the fall? No, only a few of our many species of deciduous trees, most notably maple, aspen, oak, and gum, have leaves that change color.

~ What causes leaves to change color? Several factors contribute to fall color (temperature, precipitation, soil moisture), but the main agent is light, or actually the lack of it. The amount of daylight relates to the timing of the autumnal equinox.

~ What does the amount of light have to do with color in leaves? Shorter days and less light trigger chemical changes in deciduous plants causing a corky wall to form between the twig and the leaf stalk.
This corky wall, or “abscission layer,” seals off the vessels that supply the leaf with nutrients and water and also block the exit vessels, trapping simple sugars in the leaves. The combination of reduced light, lack of nutrients, and no water add up to the death of the pigment chlorophyll, the “green” in leaves and eventually causes the leaf to drop off.

~ How does the lack of chlorophyll contribute to fall color? Once the green is gone, two other pigments, carotene (yellow) and anthocyanin (red), can be seen. These colors exist in the leaf all summer but are masked by the chlorophyll. (The browns in autumn leaves are the result of tannin, a chemical that exists in many leaves, especially oaks.)

~ What is the biggest cause of fall color? Sugar trapped in autumn leaves by the abscission layer is largely responsible for the vivid color. Some additional anthocyanins are also manufactured by sunlight acting on the trapped sugar. This is why the foliage is so sparkling after several bright fall days and more pastel during rainy spells.

~ What type of weather produces the best fall colors? In general, a wet growing season followed by a dry autumn filled with sunny days and cool, frostless nights produces the most vibrant palette of fall colors.

~ What prevents good fall colors in leaves? An early hard frost can kill the process within the leaf and lead to poor fall color. Also, drought conditions during late summer and early fall can trigger an early “shutdown” of trees as they prepare for winter, causing leaves to fall early from trees without reaching their full color potential. (The Old Farmer’s Almanac)
QUIP OF THE DAY: A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down – Robert Benchley


Thought for the day. . . “When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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