Pages Menu
Categories Menu

September 18th

Every man dies. Not every man really lives – William Ross Wallace


261st day of the year (262nd in leap years) with 104 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Air Force Birthday (commemorates establishment of The United States Air Force)
~ Chiropractic Founders Day
~ Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day
~ International Read an eBook Day
~ National Ceiling Fan Day
~ National Cheeseburger Day
~ National First Love Day
~ National HIV/AIDS and Aging Awareness Day
~ National Respect Day (to encourage people to be more respectful and polite to others)
~ Rice Krispies Treats Day
~ World Bamboo Day (to raise awareness of the benefits of bamboo and to promote its use in everyday products)
~ World Water Monitoring Day


  • 1709 Samuel Johnson, English author, biographer, poet (The Patriot, Messiah, The Plays of William Shakespeare, A Dictionary of the English Language)
  • 1819 Leon Foucault, French physicist (Foucault pendulum – demonstrates effect of Earth’s rotation)
  • 1905 Greta Garbo, Swedish actress (Anna Karenina, Mata Hari, Grand Hotel, Romance)
  • 1939 Frankie Avalon, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actor, singer (Beach Party, Beach Blanket Bingo, The Alamo, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea)
  • 1944 Charles L. Veach, Chicago, Illinois, USAF pilot / astronaut (STS-39, STS-52)
  • 1948 Lynn Abbey, Peekskill, New York, computer programmer and author (Daughter of the Bright Moon, The Brazen Gambit, The Rise and Fall of a Dragon King)
  • 1951 Ben Carson, Detroit, Michigan, retired neurosurgeon (pioneer work on separating co-joined at the head twins), author (Gifted Hands, Think Big, The Big Picture, One Nation, One Vote)
  • 1961 James Gandolfini, Westwood, New Jersey, actor (The Sopranos, True Romance, Get Shorty, Where the Wild Things Are)
  • 1970 Aisha Tyler, San Francisco, California, actress, television host, and author (Talk Soup, The Santa Clause 2, Ghost Whisperer, Archer, The Talk, Whose Line Is It Anyway?)
  • 1971 Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore, Maryland, model and actress (Princess Mononoke, The Matrix Reloaded, The Nutty Professor, Madagascar, Gotham)
  • 1972 Michael Landes, The Bronx, New York, actor (Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, Special Unit 2, Final Destination 2, The Wedding Bells, Material Girl, Save Me)
  • 1973 James Marsden, Stillwater, Oklahoma, actor (Cyclops in X-Men movies, Superman Returns, Enchanted, The Notebook, The Butler, 30 Rock, Westworld)

There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle – Albert Einstein.


  • 1793 The first cornerstone of the Capitol building is laid by George Washington.
  • 1837 Tiffany and Co. (first named Tiffany & Young) is founded by Charles Lewis Tiffany and Teddy Young in New York City. The store is called a “stationery and fancy goods emporium”.
  • 1851 First publication of The New-York Daily Times, which later becomes The New York Times.
  • 1870 Henry D. Washburn names Old Faithful Geyser during the Washburn-Langford-Doane Expedition to Yellowstone.
  • 1947 The United States Air Force becomes an independent branch of the United States armed forces.
  • 1959 Vanguard 3 is launched into Earth orbit.
  • 1977 Voyager I takes first photograph of the Earth and the Moon together.
  • 1998 ICANN (Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) is formed.
  • 2001 First mailing of anthrax letters from Trenton, New Jersey in the 2001 anthrax attacks.
  • 2009 The 72 year run of the soap opera The Guiding Light ends as its final episode is broadcast.


A truck driver is driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.

The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

A sales rep, a manager, a repair technician and a programmer were driving in a car when they had a flat tire. They all got out to survey the damage.

The sales Rep declared, “Well, we obviously need a new car.”
The manager said, “Naaah, let’s just ignore the problem and maybe it’ll go away.”

The repair tech says, “Wait! Let’s just swap the wheels around until we find the bad one.”
The programmer offers, “Let’s get the flat fixed, then drive the car on the same road to see if it happens again!”

ONE-LINERS: Just Wondering….
~ Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
~ If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
~ When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

~ Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
~ Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with.
~ Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

~ Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?
~ What’s another word for thesaurus?
~ If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

~ It’s not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
~ Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
~ Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

It’s thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits.
“Late evening sees the power restored, and we go about bringing the network back to life,” says the tech.

Next morning, the phone rings. It’s a very irate corporate administrator wanting to know why we had an unscheduled outage the day before. The tech calmly explain about the storm, which he had no control over.
The Administrator’s response? “Next time, put it on the schedule before you have an unexpected outage!”

I’m a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on various mouthpieces. While most children demonstrate aptitude on more than a single instrument, there was one boy who was having difficulty on every one he tried, and he was becoming disheartened.

Finally, he found success on a tuba mouthpiece. He was so happy that he asked to call his mother.
“Mom, guess what!” I overheard him exclaim. “I tested positive for tuba!”

Pic of the Day: Ironweed blooms (Vernonia fasciculata)
Ironweed flowers

Dumb Product Warnings:

~ “Warning: May contain nuts.” — On a package of peanuts.
~ “Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use.” — On a battery
~ “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” — On a bottle of Nytol,a brand of sleeping pills.
~ “Do not eat.” — On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

~ “Do not use orally after using rectally.” — In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
~ “Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.” — Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
~ “Turn off motor before using this product.” — On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

~ “Do not put in mouth.” — On a box of bottle rockets.
~ “Not to be used as a personal flotation device.” — On a 6×10 inch inflatable picture frame.
~ “Please remove before driving.” — On the back of a cardboard windshield cover (for keeping the car from getting too hot while parked).

~ “Not dishwasher safe.” — On a remote control for a TV.
~ “For lifting purposes only.” — On the box for a car jack.
~ “Remove plastic before eating.” — On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
~ “Do not put lit candles on phone.” — On the instructions for a cordless phone.

~ When our fraternity voted on whether or not to permit alcohol, there wasn’t a dry “aye” in the house.
~ My church hired a new seminary graduate. We were looking for greener pastors.
~ The Revolutionary War was over and General Washington called the troops together to address them saying: “Men, the country must be kept safe. Accordingly, I am ordering that the active duty regulars are to stand duty from Monday through Friday. On Saturday and Sunday the National Guard and Reserves will worry about our new nations security.”
And so it was, and from that day to this, the National Guard and Reserves have been known as Weekend Worriers.

A wife’s answer to the question “What’s wrong?” and what it really means…

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It’s just that you’re an idiot.

The wife says: I don’t want to talk about it.
The wife means: I’m still building up steam.

“How are you getting along with trying to date that new co-worker?”
“Not so bad. I’m getting some encouragement now.”

“Really? Is she beginning to smile sweetly at you or something?”
“Not exactly, but yesterday she told me she’s said no for the last time.”

I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn’t help that my connecting flight from Denver was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were aloft, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant.

“I’ll take care of it,” she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she’d solved the problem by turning off the lights.
A passenger across the aisle who had been listening leaned over and said, “Whatever you do, please don’t ask about the engines.”

I sat down with a new client at the gym where I work to review her application. For the question “To what do you attribute your fitness issues?” the woman had written, “Horrendous eating habits.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked.
The woman replied, “I don’t know how to spell atrocious’.”

TODAY IN TRIVIA: How did Hannibal take elephants across the Alps? 
According to an account of his crossing, Hannibal’s soldiers (on their way to invade Europe) used hot vinegar to dissolve rock (presumably limestone) in order to make footholds for the elephants.

~ Why is Chiropractic Founders Day on this date?
It was on this day that Dr. Daniel David Palmer, a pioneering clinician in Davenport, Iowa, administered the first specific chiropractic adjustment.

~ What is the purpose of National Ceiling Fan Day?
This day is dedicated to reducing energy consumption by turning off your central cooling system and turning on your ceiling, desk or floor fan instead.

~ What did Romans use to treat skin ulcers? 
In ancient Rome, gold salves were used for the treatment of skin ulcers. Today, gold leaf plays an important role in the treatment of chronic ulcers.

~ What unique ingredient can you get on a pizza in Iceland? 
In Iceland, Domino’s Pizza has a reindeer sausage pie on its menu.

~ How long does a carp live?
The common carp lives up to 25 years in the wild, and up to 40 years in captivity. The durable fish can survive in waters up to 90 degrees F, and can even withstand freezing for short period.
QUIP OF THE DAY: What would men be without women? Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce. – Mark Twain


Thought for the day. . . Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life. – Ambrose Bierce

Post a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.