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September 25th

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. – Robert Muller


TODAY – SEPTEMBER 25th 

268th day of the year (269th in leap years) with 97 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ Crab Meat Newburg Day
~ Math Storytelling Day
~ National Comic Book Day
~ National Food Service Workers Day
~ National Lobster Day
~ National One-Hit Wonder Day
~ National Research Administrator Day
~ National Tune-Up Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1897 William Faulkner, New Albany, Mississippi, author (Nobel / The Sound and the Fury, As I Lay Dying, A Fable, The Rivers)
  • 1930 Shel Silverstein, Chicago, Illinois, poet & author (The Giving Tree, Where the Sidewalk Ends, A Light in the Attic, Falling Up, Grab Your Socks!)
  • 1943 Robert Walden, NYC, New York, actor (Joe Rossi on Lou Grant, Brothers, Happily Divorced, Surviving in L.A.)
  • 1951 Mark Hamill, Oakland, California, actor (Luke Skywalker in Star Wars movies, Regular Show, Batman: The Animated Series, Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, Minkow, Batman: The Killing Joke, Dimension 404)
  • 1952 Christopher Reeve, NYC, New York, actor (Superman, quadriplegic founder of Christopher Reeve Foundation)
  • 1961 Heather Locklear, Los Angeles, California, actress (Dynasty, T.J. Hooker, Melrose Place, Spin City, Franklin and Bash, Too Close to Home)
  • 1968 Will Smith, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, actor and rapper (The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Ali, The Pursuit of Happyness, Men in Black, Independence Day, Enemy of the State, Hitch, I Am Legend, After Earth, Focus, Collateral Beauty)
  • 1969 Catherine Zeta-Jones, Welsh actress (The Mask of Zorro, Entrapment, Traffic, Ocean’s Twelve, Red 2, Feud)
  • 1977 Robbie Jones, Oxnard, California, actor (One Tree Hill, Hurricane Season, Helicats, Necessary Roughness, 90210, Bosch)
  • 1994 Jansen Panettiere, Palisades, New York, actor (The X’s, The Last Day of Summer, The Perfect Game, The Martial Arts Kid)

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What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness. – Baruch Spinoza
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1690 Publick Occurrences Both Foreign and Domestick, the first newspaper to appear in the Americas, is published for the first and only time.
  • 1890 Sequoia National Park is established by the U.S. Congress.
  • 1911 Ground is broken for Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts.
  • 1957 Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas, is integrated by the use of United States Army troops.
  • 1977 About 4,200 people take part in the first running of the Chicago Marathon.
  • 1978 PSA Flight 182, a Boeing 727-214, collides in mid-air with a Cessna 172 and crashes in San Diego, California, resulting in the deaths of 144 people.
  • 1981 Sandra Day O’Connor becomes the 102nd person sworn in as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States and the first woman to hold the office.
  • 1992 NASA launched a $511 million probe to Mars in the first U.S. mission to the planet in 17 years. Eleven months later, the probe would fail.
  • 2009 U.S. President Barack Obama, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy, in a joint TV appearance for a G-20 summit, accused Iran of building a secret nuclear enrichment facility.

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During the last carpool the subject was teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing.

The veteran parent of six children, told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. “I would hold up a piece of cold broccoli and if they were jumping and snapping at it I figured they were hungry enough to be fed.”
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My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss.” He then taped it to his office door.

Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called; she wants you to bring her sign back!”
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ONE-LINERS: Why Dogs Are Better Than Kids

~ Dogs cannot lie.
~ Dogs never resist nap time.
~ It doesn’t take 45 minutes to get a dog ready to go outside in the winter.

~ Dogs don’t pester you about getting a kid.
~ You don’t need to get extra phone lines for a dog.
~ Dogs don’t care if the peas have been touched by the mashed potatoes.

~ Your dog is not embarrassed if you sing in public.
~ Dogs are housebroken by the time they are 12 weeks old.
~ Average cost of sending a dog to school: $42; Average cost of sending a kid: $103,000
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A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter.
She sees, “My Sin”, “Desire”, and “Ecstasy”.
She says to the salesperson, “I don’t want to get emotionally involved…I just want to smell nice.”
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On a visit to my wife’s native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London’s Gatwick Airport. Tania headed for the British passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners’ line. When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my visit.

“Pleasure,” I replied. “I’m on my honeymoon.”

The officer looked first to one side of me, then the other. “That’s very interesting, sir,” he said as he stamped my passport. “Most men bring their wives with them.”
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PIC OF THE DAY: Spicebush Swallowtail Butterfly
on Phlox paniculata ‘David’blossoms
Black butterfly with blue
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Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Carol found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents.

“Take it to the police station,” her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added….
“And, Carol?”
“Yes, mom?”
“Call them first and let them know you’re coming.”
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A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing “wedding.” The wedding vows went like this:

“You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.”
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

It turns out that the “Old King Cole” of nursery rhyme fame is loosely based on a 14th century ruler.

The slightly mad monarch is best known for his decree that the entire fiefdom’s crop of lettuce be diced and drenched in mayonnaise.

He called it, of course, Cole’s Law.
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Another bit of punniness…. The FBI and the DEA are joining efforts and will be assigning some of their agents to a quasi-FBI/DEA enforcement team specifically targeting the illegal allergy pills sales that occur on the black market.

The agents will be called “Pseudo Feds.”
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A duck hunter needed a new bird dog, so he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve the duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.

He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a true pessimist and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet.

The friend saw everything but didn’t say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything funny about my new dog?” “I sure did,” responded his friend. “He can’t swim!”
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This guy wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway.
“I’ll tell you what,” he told her. “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?”

Being a good sport, she accepted.
When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: “For Sale.”
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The man walked over to the perfume counter and told the clerk he’d like a bottle of Chanel No. 5 for his wife’s birthday.
“A little surprise, eh?” smiled the clerk.
“You bet,” answered the customer. “She’s expecting a cruise.”

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As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job.

I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. “If you don’t get off there right now,” she commanded, “I’m going to e-mail your father!”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What size does Lady Liberty wear? The Statue of Liberty measures 35 feet in diameter at the waist. The robe forms the outer shell of the statue, and there is no “torso” underneath.

~ What is National Tune Up Day about? You might think it’s about tuning a piano or tuning up a car, but that’s not the case. This holiday is to remind homeowners to prepare for winter heating season. Heating and cooling specialists recommend that homeowners tune up their heating systems every year in advance of seasonal changes. These tune-ups ensure that the systems are operating as efficiently as possible.

~ Do you remember any one-hit-wonders? That’s a term for artists or groups that only made it big once. After that, they faded away. Here are a few of the well-known one-hit wonders from days gone by:

  • 1955 – “Earth Angel (Will You Be Mine)” by The Penguins
  • 1968 – “Tip Toe Thru The Tulips” by Tiny Tim
  • 1969 – “Smile a Little Smile for Me” by The Flying Machine
  • 1970 – “The House of the Rising Sun” by Frijid Pink
  • 1972 – “Hot Rod Lincoln” by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen
  • 1983 – “Puttin’ on the Ritz” by Taco
  • 1988 – “Don’t Worry Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin

~ Which invertebrate is smartest? The ancient nautilus is considered the most intelligent of the invertebrates; it is said to have been as intelligent as a young cat.

~ Will the icecaps melting make a big difference? If today’s ice caps melted completely, sea level would rise across the world by between 200 and 230 feet. This means the Statue of Liberty would be immersed up to her armpits, and the clock face on the Houses of Parliament in London would be under water.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.” – Mark Twain

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful. – Buddha

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