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September 30th

Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life. – Linus Pauling


TODAY – SEPTEMBER 30th

273rd day of the year (274th in leap years) with 92 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Chewing Gum Day
~ National Love People Day
~ National Mud Pack Day
~ National Hot Mulled Cider Day
~ Recovery Day (Canada)
~ International Translation Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1861 William Wrigley, Jr., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, industrialist (Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company)
  • 1882 Hans Geiger, German physicist (Geiger counter, Geiger-Marsden experiment, Atomic nucleus)
  • 1912 Kenny Baker, Monrovia, California, singer and actor (featured singer on Jack Benny’s radio/ R2D2 – Star Wars)
  • 1924 Truman Capote, New Orleans, Louisiana, author (Breakfast at Tiffany’s, In Cold Blood)
  • 1928 Elie Wiesel, Romanian Holocaust survivor and author (Souls on Fire, Night / Nobel 1986)
  • 1933 Cissy Houston, Newark, New Jersey, gospel/r&b singer (Think It Over)
  • 1935 Johnny Mathis, San Francisco, California, singer (Chances Are, 12th of Never)
  • 1943 Marilyn McCoo, Jersey City, New Jersey, singer (The 5th Dimension)
  • 1954 Barry Williams, Santa Monica, California, actor (Greg on The Brady Bunch)
  • 1957 Fran Drescher, Queens, New York, actress (Cadillac Man, Nanny, Hotel Transylvania, Happily Divorced)
  • 1961 Eric Stoltz, Whittier, California, actor (Anaconda, Pulp Fiction, Mask, The Waterdance, Caprica)
  • 1970 Tony Hale, West Point, New York, actor (Arrested Development, Veep, Sanjay and Craig)

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Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier. – Kathleen Norris
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1841 Samuel Slocum patented the stapler.
  • 1880 Henry Draper took the first photograph of the Orion Nebula.
  • 1882 The world’s first commercial hydroelectric power plant (later known as Appleton Edison Light Company) begins operation on the Fox River in Appleton, Wisconsin.
  • 1901 Hubert Cecil Booth patents the vacuum cleaner.
  • 1927 Babe Ruth becomes the first baseball player to hit 60 home runs in a season.
  • 1935 The Hoover Dam, astride the border between the U.S. states of Arizona and Nevada, is dedicated.
  • 1947 The World Series, featuring the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers, is televised for the first time.
  • 1954 The U.S. Navy submarine USS Nautilus is commissioned as the world’s first nuclear reactor powered vessel.
  • 1960 The Flintstones premieres (1st prime time animation show).
  • 1962 James Meredith enters the University of Mississippi, defying segregation.
  • 1968 First Boeing 747 rolled out and put on public display.
  • 2004 The first images of a live giant squid in its natural habitat are taken 600 miles south of Tokyo.
  • 2016 Hurricane Matthew becomes a Category 5 hurricane, making it the strongest hurricane to form in the Caribbean Sea since 2007.

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave. – Mark Twain
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The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.

“What’s wrong Tracey ?” she asked.

Tracey told her that she had “morning sickness”. Surprised the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant.”

“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just sick of mornings.”
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Man: Hello. My wife has just died. Can you come to pick up the body?
Mortuary: Yes. Where do you live?

Man: On the corner of 37th and Eucalyptus.
Mortuary: Could you spell that please?

Man: Uhhhhh. How ’bout if I drag her over to Oak and you can pick her up there?
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ONE-LINERS: SIX TRUTHS

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, due to the tendons within your neck.

2. All boneheads, after reading #1 will try it…

3. …and discover that #1 is a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you realize you are an bonehead.

5. You soon will share this with another bonehead.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face! I sincerely apologize about this, but I’m an bonehead and I needed company.

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In Heaven, the police are British, the chefs are Italian, the mechanics are German, the lovers are French and it’s all organized by the Swiss.

In hell, the police are German, the chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss and it’s
all organized by the Italians.
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New Haircut

Women’s version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?

Woman2: Oh no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.

Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.

Woman2: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.

Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Men’s version:

Man1: Haircut?

Man2: Yeah.

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pic of the day: Midnight Moon behind clouds

Moon behind clouds
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A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store.

The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn’t resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, “You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn’t have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”

The old rancher replied, “Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning.”
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“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

The classroom fell silent for a moment, and then an earnest young voice piped up: “A lawyer!”

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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.

The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”

The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

“How?” asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
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VERY PUNNY….
A woman went on a tour of the White House. As the guide led her down one of the historic halls, a door burst open and a large aquatic sea mammal, balancing a beach ball on its nose, scurried past.
“My, what was that?” exclaimed the woman.
“Oh, that’s just the Presidential Seal,” replied the guide.
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Every now and again one of our local restaurants will sponsor a classic car show, and auto enthusiasts from all over the region will roll up in their vintage vehicles.

Once, while strolling through the lot, admiring the trip down memory lane, I overheard two owners talking.

One explained that he had some friends who put together a car using wheels from a Cadillac, the engine from a Ford, the chassis of a Chevy, and the body of an old Plymouth.

“Wow,” the other guy exclaimed. “What did they call it?”

The first guy laughs and replies, “Grand Theft Auto. They got two years!”

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My son came thundering down the stairs, much to my annoyance. I called out, “How many times have I told you to come down the stairs quietly? Now go back up and come down like a civilized human being.”

After a brief silence the boy reappeared in the living room.

“That’s better,” I said. “Now will you always come down stairs like that?”

“Suits me. I slid down the banister.”
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A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat.

“The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”

The boy looked at her quizzically, “Why does it have to be a secret?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What is Recovery Day about? An annual event which demonstrates and celebrates the ability of those with drug, alcohol and behavioral addictions to achieve long-term sobriety and live productive and healthy lives. Recovery Day is organized in part by Faces and Voices of Recovery.

~ What is International Translation day celebrating? This day is meant as an opportunity to pay tribute to the work of language professionals, which play an important role in bringing nations together, facilitating dialogue, understanding and cooperation, contributing to development and strengthening world peace and security.

~Is Brazil the land of big critters? Brazil is a land with a lot of big creatures — it is home to the world’s largest snake (the anaconda, measuring up to 35 feet in length), largest spider, largest rodent (the capybara, a sort of guinea pig the size of a police dog), and the world’s largest ant.

~What did the Vikings consider the Northern lights? The Vikings believed that the Northern lights which are seen from time to time in the north sky were caused by the flashing armor and spears of Odin’s handmaidens as they rode out to collect warriors slain in battle.

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QUIP OF THE DAY: If some people said what they thought, they’d be speechless.

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou

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