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September 7th

The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in the right scale of values. – Norman Thomas

TODAY – SEPTEMBER 7th

250th day of the year (251st in leap years) with 115 days to follow.

Holidays for Today:
~ National Beer Lover’s Day
~ National Acorn Squash Day
~ Neither Rain nor Snow Day
~ National Salami Day
~ International Square Dancing Month
~ National Rice Month
~ NOTE: National Grandparents Day is celebrated on the first Sunday after Labor Day.
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:

  • 1815 John McDouall Stuart, Australian explorer (most accomplished and most famous of all Australia’s inland explorers)
  • 1819 Thomas Hendricks, Ohio, politician (21st Vice President of U.S.)
  • 1851 Edward Ashael Birge, Troy, New York, pioneer in limnology (study of inland waters)
  • 1860 Grandma (Anna Maria) Moses, Greenwich, New York, primitive painter (Old Oaken Bucket)
  • 1885 Elinor Wylie, Somerville, New Jersey, poet and novelist (Incidental Numbers)
  • 1900 Taylor Caldwell, British-American author (Dynasty of Death, Dear and Glorious Physician, The Captains and the Kings, Answer as a Man)
  • 1908 Paul Brown, Norwalk, Ohio, football coach and executive (major figure in the development of the National Football League)
  • 1908 Michael DeBakey, Lake Charles, Louisiana, cardiac surgeon (artificial heart pioneer)
  • 1913 Anthony Quayle, English actor & director (Tarzan’s Greatest Adventure, The Guns of Navarone, Lawrence of Arabia, Anne of the Thousand Days, Masada, Reaching for the Skies)
  • 1914 James Van Allen, Mount Pleasant, Iowa, space scientist (Van Allen radiation belts)
  • 1917 Jacob Lawrence, Atlantic City, New Jersey, painter (“dynamic cubism”)
  • 1925 Laura Ashley, Welsh fashion designer (Romantic designs with 19th century rural flair for home and clothes)
  • 1936 Buddy Holly, Lubbock, Texas, singer (The Crickets)
  • 1951 Chrissie Hynde, Akron, Ohio, guitarist and singer (The Pretenders)
  • 1954 Corbin Bernsen, North Hollywood CA, actor (Arnie Becker-LA Law, Psych, On the Wing)
  • 1969 Diane Farr, Manhattan, New York City, New York, actress (Numb3rs, Collision Earth, Wildlike)
  • 1970 Tom Everett Scott, East Bridgewater, Massachusetts, actor (Air Buddies, Call of Duty, Grace Under Fire, Southland, Z Nation, Reign )
  • 1987 Evan Rachel Wood, American actress (American Gothic, Once and Again, Running With Scissors, Westworld)

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No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. – Barbara de Angelis
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:

  • 1776 World’s first submarine attack: the American submersible craft Turtle attempts to attach a time bomb to the hull of British Admiral Richard Howe’s flagship HMS Eagle in New York Harbor.
  • 1864 Atlanta, Georgia, is evacuated during the Civil War on orders of Union General William Tecumseh Sherman.
  • 1921 In Atlantic City, New Jersey, the first Miss America Pageant, a two-day event, is held.
  • 1927 The first fully electronic television system is achieved by Philo Taylor Farnsworth.
  • 1936 The last surviving member of the thylacine species (Tasmanian Tiger), Benjamin, dies alone in her cage at the Hobart Zoo in Tasmania.
  • 1940 World War II: The Blitz – Nazi Germany begins to rain bombs on London. This will be the first of 57 consecutive nights of bombing.
  • 1942 Holocaust: 8,700 Jews of Kolomyia (western Ukraine) sent by German Gestapo to death camp in Belzec.
  • 1963 Pro Football Hall of Fame dedicated in Canton, Ohio.
  • 1979 The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, better known as ESPN, makes its debut.
  • 1999 American Hip-Hop star Tupac Shakur is shot and passed away six days later due to hemorrhaging that the doctors were unable to stop.
  • 2005 Apple Computer introduced the iPod nano, that holds 1,000 songs yet is thinner than a standard #2 pencil.
  • 2008 US Government takes control of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the two largest mortgage financing companies in the US.

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Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”
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Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.
“It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.”
“You know you’re right, sir,” exclaimed Smith. “I didn’t realize it. You don’t suppose she’s faking, do you?”
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ONE-LINERS:

~If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
~Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?

~Think “honk” if you’re telepathic.
~Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
~If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
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KIEV (Reuters) – A Ukraine businessman who bought a pager for each member of his staff as a New Year gift was so alarmed when all 50 of them went off at the same time that he drove his car into a lamp post, a newspaper said Thursday.

The unnamed businessman was returning from the pager shop when the accident happened, the Fakty daily reported. ”With no more than 100 meters to go to the office, the 50 pagers on the back seat suddenly burst out screeching. The businessman’s fright was such that he simply let go of the steering wheel and the car ploughed into a lamp post.”

After he had assessed the damage to the car, the businessman turned his attention to the message on the 50 pagers. It read: ”Congratulations on a successful purchase!”
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pic of the day: Tasmanian Tiger

picture of Tasmanian Tiger
Largest known carnivorous marsupial of modern times, now extinct. It was native to continental Australia, Tasmania, and New Guinea.
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!

Q) Did you hear that 2 antennae got married?
A) The ceremony wasn’t much, but the RECEPTION was great.

Q) How did the telephones get married?
A) In a double ring ceremony!

Q) What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A) Cliff!

Q) Where do Eskimos keep their money?
A) Snow banks!

Q) What gets wetter as it dries?
A) A towel!

Q) What lies on the ground one hundred feet in the air?
A) A sunbathing centipede.

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Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long.

Judge: Can’t they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.
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A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, ”Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, ”We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, ”And what are those?”
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, ”Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”
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While leading a tour of kindergarten students through our hospital, I overheard a conversation between one little girl and an x-ray technician.

“Have you ever broken a bone?” he asked.
“Yes,” the girl replied.

“Did it hurt?”
“No.”

“Really? Which bone did you break?”
“My sister’s arm.”
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GOLDEN OLDIE… One night, a twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dahlia Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

“Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have a parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dalai Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dalai Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you. You take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”

The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: What animals were related to the Tasmanian Tiger (Thylacinus cynocephalus)? Its closest living relative was thought to be either the Tasmanian devil or the numbat.

~ Was the female Tasmanian Tiger the only one with a pouch? Actually, the Tasmanian Tiger was one of only two marsupials where both males and females had a pouch (the other being the water opossum). While the females carried the young in their pouch, in the male Tasmanian Tiger it functioned as a protective cover for his external reproductive organs while he ran through thick brush.

~ How big was a Tasmanian Tiger? The mature thylacine ranged from 39 to 51 inches (100 to 130 cm) long, plus a tail of around 20 to 26 inches in length (50 to 65 cm). Adults stood about 24 inches high (60 cm) at the shoulder and weighed 40 to 70 pounds (20 to 30 kg).
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!

Thought for the day. . . Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. – Julia Child

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